


Foreign Nights

by onanotherworld



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, DEAD FIC, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, ON PERMANENT HAITUS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-26 16:02:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onanotherworld/pseuds/onanotherworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU universe, Spock never joins Starfleet and instead goes to the VSA, and when Vulcan is destroyed he moves with the rest of his race. When Kirk is sent there on a diplomatic mission, it all goes slightly crazy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I have neared the bottom of a downward spiral that Tumblr took me on, and I have loved every second! When i told my friends that I had started writing fanfiction, they all gave me pitying looks. what am I doing with my life.
> 
> Be kind!! It's my first fanfic!

James Tiberius (though some people swore up and down his middle name was Tomcat) Kirk sat in a dull grey Starfleet boardroom, tapping his leg incessantly against the table leg. All the Captains of the Constitution Class Starships and Admirals had been called into a meeting about the destruction of Vulcan.

 

Kirk had been recalled to Earth two years into his five-year mission and he was pretty irritated about it, and it wasn't pretty in the Enterprise's bridge all the way home. Kirk had been snarling at his First Officer, Commander Regan, more than usual, since the two of them hated each other with all the fire of a star. He'd been snapping at his crew and that certainly was unusual because Captain Kirk loved his crew, and they loved him right back. When he had sprained his ankle and had to go down to MedBay, Kirk had scowled at the nurses and McCoy instead of flirting with them.

 

Jim now switched to tapping his fingers against the table, causing a light sound to ring quietly out in the meeting, and Admiral Pike, who was sitting next to him, shot him an annoyed glance. "Jim. Stop. It. Now." hissed Pike, under the sounds of Admiral Ku-long addressing the other Admirals and twelve Captains. Jim flashed Pike his most angelic smile. "Stop what?"

 

"That infernal tapping." whispered Pike. Jim tapped twice more, just to prove the point that he'd not be bossed around by Christopher Pike, then lapsed into sulky silence. 

 

Down at the head of the table Admiral Ku-long lectured on about Vulcan and Vulcans and everything vaguely Vulcanoid. Jim sighed with boredom and darted a glance around the room. The walls and floor were a standard Starfleet grey, and the table was too, but for the computers that displayed the harsh colours of the Vulcan planet. Leaning back in his chair, Jim gazed out the window that went floor to ceiling one wall. Outside was a bustling cityscape, air cars and hoverbikes zipping about like ants far above the ground, where people moved with a purpose and a zeal that only a city life could create. Apartment blocks and skyscrapers towered above the city floor, against the back drop of a pale blue sky that was slowly turning red with sunset. Sunset. Jim blew out his lips in a near silent expulsion of air. He'd been trapped in this meeting since before midday.

 

Jim daydreamed for a while and was brought back to reality with a thump when Admiral Ku-long said "Captain Kirk. Captain Kirk!" Jim snapped to attention, almost gave himself whiplash in the process and Pike gave a nearly inaudible chuckle, sparing a glowering glance for him, Jim turned towards Admiral Ku-long and answered "Yes, Admiral?"

 

"As I was saying, Captain Kirk," replied Ku-long, in an exasperated voice and every eye turned to Jim with either hostility or amusement, "I believe that a diplomatic mission is in order to establish that New Vulcan is operating smoothly and all plans are being carried out." Once more addressing the meeting as a whole "And we need a Constitution Class ship to do it."

 

"But why?" asked the Captain of the USS Constellation, "One other ship could do it since all the Constitution Class have important deep-space missions."

 

"Because," responded Ku-long, who was beginning to sound like he was on his very last nerve, put his elbows on the table and leaned on his hands "we failed to save Vulcan, and we need to keep the Vulcans in the Federation for economical and cultural purposes, and they are threatening to leaved because they don't feel safe. To try and keep them feeling in control of the situation the only option we have left is to send them the best Starship we have..."

 

The world faded to the words "send the best Starship we have" because Jim knew that the best Starship in the whole of Starfleet was his best girl, his ship, the USS Enterprise.

 

James T. Kirk was going to Vulcan.


	2. Familiar Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim goes for a walk, and stuff happens.

Jim walked down the city street in the pale winter moonlight and shoved his hands deep into the pockets in his navy blue thermal jacket. This street was almost deserted, and the people who were out bustled along, as if they didn't like to be out this late on a quiet boulevard, wrapped up tight in winter coats of all sizes and fashions. A sign for 'Wendie's Food Plaza' flickered on and off with a lazy insolence, and the metal tag line- Never go hungry again!- swayed to and fro in the freezing breeze. 

 

The beginnings of frost began to appear under Jim's combat boots as he sauntered along, no real destination in mind, just a walk to clear his head. He thought back to the end of the meeting, and sighed quietly into the night. The reactions hadn't been pretty; sending the youngest, least experienced Captain in the whole fleet to such an important diplomatic mission as this. Most of the Captains and Admirals had protested outright, only Pike and Captain Lester of the USS Potemkin had kept silent. The meeting room was a fog of voices, only half of a sentence at a time being heard: "You can't, Admiral what if..."

 

"Seriously, sir?! What if he..."

 

"I'm sure we can find better..."

 

"I can't believe it! Why..."

 

"But he's just a jumped- up cadet!"

 

"...got lucky once, Admiral! Once!"

 

Admiral Ku-long had let the protests continue to see if they would die down of their own accord, while Jim stared straight ahead with jaw clenched and his head held high, refusing to flinch and to be cowed into thinking that his defeat of Nero had been plain luck. Well, most of it had been luck, but at least some of it had been skill. He couldn't let his own doubts in his victory be strengthened by these degenerate old goats. 

 

"Alright, alright! That is enough." Admiral Ku-long had thundered at the rest of the meeting, banging his fists on the table. "This has been decided! The Vulcans are expecting him!" ripples of protest went through the group centering on Jim. Every eye turned to him, and he met each one with icy determination to prove them wrong, that he could handle this mission, despite his own doubts that rocked him. "You are being informed of this as a mere formality," continued Ku-long in a dangerous voice, "this has been decided, and the only one who really needed to know this was Kirk. The Vulcans didn't want anyone to know about this, aside from those who are doing the mission! It was a task to convince them that you needed to know, on the grounds that if you couldn't contact the Enterprise from within the security shields of New Vulcan, that you wouldn't rock up and create an emergency."

 

Murmurs of protest and agreement filtered through, growing stronger, and Jim began to fiddle with his hands, creating different shapes. When the protests began to take form again; Admiral Ku-long banged the flat of his hands against the table and said "This is what's happening! You don't like it, you can resign the captaincy of your vessel." Unsurprisingly the room went as silent as the grave, and Admiral Ku-long glanced around with expectation in his eyes and continued "Right. That's that. Meeting adjourned!"

 

The Meeting Room was suddenly full of the noise of chairs scraping over the metal floor and people moving towards the double doors of the meeting room. Jim moved with them and was jostled to and fro by the other Captains, the Admirals having moved ahead. Jim pushed them right back, to show them he wasn't afraid of them, and what could they do? They were the same rank as him anyway, and also it wasn't like it was a massive loss of friendship, most of the other Captains resented him to start off with, Jim being the youngest Captain and having such a sterling record for saving the planet and his genius. 

 

Jim walked with his head up, looking straight ahead, not turning is gaze to the windows that made up one wall, or to the floor, which was carpeted in an unassuming cream. But as soon as he turned into a deserted, unused corridor, he sank down against the wall, drawing his knees loosely up to near his chin and put his head in his hands and sat, not thinking for a while. Jim was so out of it for once, normally he was as jumpy and adrenaline fueled as a grasshopper, that he only heard Pike when he put his hand on Jim's shoulder and said encouragingly "Don't worry Jim, I know you can do it,"

 

"Of course I can do it Chris, I'm Jim Kirk, remember?" Jim replied in a fair approximation of his usually cocky tones, accompanied by one of his dazzling white smiles. 

 

Pike's kind face creased as he chuckled, "That's the spirit, Jim." he held out one tanned hand, and Jim took it, and heaved himself to his feet. Jim and Pike began to walk side by side, and Chris slapped Jim's shoulder and said "Get some sleep, kiddo, I hear that the Enterprise's maintenance is finished tomorrow, and you're shipping out."

 

Back in the present Kirk looked up into the night sky, most of the stars obscured by the light pollution of the city, but if he squinted hard enough, he could just make out the hulking docking station, held in suspended orbit above the city. It was where his gorgeous girl was being taken care of. Jim sighed, the mission vexed him though, it felt as if he'd finally got his dream of traveling the stars, only for it to be taken away at a too soon opportunity. But, reasoned a rational part of his mind, the success of the diplomatic mission will sure up the doubts that people have about me, and the sooner it's over, the sooner I can go back to my original mission- to boldly go where no man has gone before. Jim chuckled at the little catchphrase that he'd made up about the mission.

 

Suddenly, down the street a woman's scream sounded, and without thinking, Jim hurtled towards the noise. 

 

Turning down the alleyway that the scream had come from, Jim could now see a grimy man pressing up against a red-headed Orion woman, her hands on his chest trying uselessly to push him away. Rage flared red in Jim's vision, he was all in for sex, but only when all parties enjoyed and wanted it. He was a womanizer, all right, but he would never in a million years try to rape someone. He charged up to the man and tapped his shoulder. The man turned, his medium length brown hair frazzled at the ends, and his face shining with grease. Jim lifted his fist and swung it into a right hook, knocking the man squarely on the jaw, and the greasy man went down hard, unconscious. With the man lying in a boneless heap at his feet, he turned to the Orion. It struck Jim how much like Gaila she was, with her long red hair and her clever blue eyes, but her nose and mouth were the wrong shape. Were Gaila's mouth had been in a cupid's bow shape, and her nose patrician, this woman's mouth was plump but unshaped and her nose was more of a ski- jump and she was beautiful in a rather generic way. 

 

Are you alrig--?" Jim asked, concern lighting his tone, but before he could finish the question, she shot away into the night.

 

Jim shrugged his shoulders, and attributed to the woman running off to be her scaring at a new man when she'd just had an awful encounter with this one. He sighed and knelt next to the man, wrinkling his nose at the mildly repulsive stench of body odour, and propped him against the wall of the alley. Jim put his fingers under the man's jaw, and found his pulse, and was relieved to him it strong and steady. Whatever this man had almost done, Jim didn't want him dead by any means. 

 

When Jim had finished propping up the man, he continued his walk, thinking of Vulcan as he did.

 

***

 

Jim sat in the Command chair in on the bridge of the Enterprise, and felt more alive than he had in his week of shore leave on Earth. He felt his ship humming beneath his boots, and the chatter of voices that indicated the imminent departure. His Science Officer, Lieutenant Letheson, talking excitedly to Nyota Uhura, his Linguistics and Communications Officer. "I can't believe that we're actually going to New Vulcan! I can't wait to take some samples of the rocks and air! I wonder if it'll be different to old Vulcan." Uhura was nodding along, with a smile on her face, used to Letheson's mouth running off with her. Her enthusiasm warmed his heart. It was nice to know that somebody was happy about their mission. Scotty was running around updating the Bridge consoles, even though they'd already been updated. Bones came up behind him and unexpectedly (although it should've been expected by now, it happened so much it was almost routine) stabbed Jim in the neck with a hypo, much to the hilarity of the rest of the Bridge crew. 

 

"Ouch!" Jim complained, "What was that for?"

 

"It's for the thin atmosphere on New Vulcan, it's a tricompound." scowled Bones, although it was easy to see the warmth in his eyes. Bones rearranged his uniform shirt and continued "All the crew have to have one, and I knew you wouldn't come to Medical, so I had to ambush you."

 

"Yeah, but I swear you do it really hard. I think you get your kicks out of it," Jim said decisively.

 

"Nope, you're just a crybaby, Jim-boy." replied Bones in a higher-than-thou voice.

 

"I'm wery sorry to interrupt, Keptin," came Chekov's voice in a dry tone, "But ve're ready to leave the docking station."

 

Jim snapped into Captain mode and replied "Very good, Chekov. Sulu plot a course to Vulcan and proceed at Warp Four."

 

"Already done, sir." came Sulu. Through the viewscreen, Jim could see the monolith of the docking station receding, and they were turning towards the stars. Energy pounding through him, Jim said "Punch it, Sulu." Sulu pushed down the lever and the Enterprise moved swiftly into Warp, the stars blurring into silver streaks. Chekov said "At this speed, ve vill reach New Vulcan in approximately vone-point nine days."

 

"Great, Mr. Chekov. Scotty," he said down the comm line to Engineering, "how's our girl doing?"

 

"Purring like a kitten, Captain, she's loving it." came Scotty's voice from the belly of the ship.

 

"Brilliant." Jim grinned widely at his crew and then drew out the comm unit from the side of the Command chair and broadcasted his voice ship -wide. "For those of you who don't know," he addressed the crew, leaning forward in his Command chair, "The Enterprise is headed for the planet New Vulcan in the Miros System. We are on a diplomatic mission to assess the Vulcans' progress. We will be staying there for approximately three months, and we will be updating the security systems around the planet. When we arrive the Vulcans will give us more jobs to do. Although this mission sounds boring, I'm told it's vital for the Ferderation, and I know I can count on the best crew in the whole of Starfleet to make sure that the Vulcans remain safe and well. I know I can count on you guys. Kirk out." The rest of the Bridge crew who'd been listening to his little speech broke out into appreciative murmurs and Jim grinned happily, at least he could count on his crew.

 

***

 

After a uneventful Alpha shift, but they were crossing close to the Romulan Neutral Zone, Jim walked back to his familiar quarters and sat on his desk chair with a happy sigh. His ship hummed to him and the bed in the corner of the room had never looked more inviting. Jim had reports to do. But before he settled down at his desk, he decided that he would take a quick sonic shower in the bathroom that he shared with Commander Regan, much to his distaste. He walked into the bathroom at the exact time the Commander was stepping out, thank God for small miracles, fully dressed. Jim forced his frozen lips to say "Commander."

 

Regan turned slowly to Jim and his mouth formed the word, and it looked like it caused him physical pain, "Captain." And then he walked out. Civility. The closest he and Regan would ever come to love. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, all thoughts of a shower forgotten with the memories of his awkward encounter with Regan.

 

Walking out of the bathroom, dumping his towel next to his sink, and went to sit at the desk. Once he was sat at the standard issue Captain's desk, with it's video comm link in the wall and audio comm link for calling about the ship. Jim sighed again, and picked up a report PADD.

 

***

 

The red alert came when Jim was asleep, fully dressed, on top of a report PADD. He jumped up as if stung and raced to the   
Bridge.

 

When he got to the Bridge, Jim could see the problem immediately. A huge Romulan Warbird was filling up the viewscreen. "Chekov. Sulu. What's the situation?" he barked at them.

 

"Romulan Warbird, at twelve o'clock, aiming weapons to fire." replied Sulu in a harried voice. The Bridge was buzzing with activity, people rushing around like ants.

 

"Sir!" cried Uhura, "Incoming hail from Romulan Warbird!"

 

"Put it one the viewscreen!" said Jim. A Romulan man appeared on the viewscreen, and Jim managed to talk calmly, while surreptitiously opening the comm link so it was broadcasting ship-wide. "Hello. My name is Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise, you are outside of your territory, this could be seen as an act of war against the Federation if you attack this vessel." The Romulan man remained unimpressed, but responded with his own hailing. "Hello, Captain Kirk. I am the Captain Geillum from the house of Othan of the ChR Bloodred. What brings you here?"

 

"We could ask you the same question Captain Geillum. Except, I'm going to ask you: Who wants to know?" Jim stared at the other Captain with a pleasant facade.

 

Captain Geillum's lip curled into an unpleasant smirk. "The Romulan Empire, Captain. They want to know if you are helping those hhakh, dyypan Vulcans. They insulted us, Captain Kirk, we did not destroy their planet, but it is extremely insulting that they accused us without any solid proof. We are seeking revenge, Captain Kirk."

 

Jim's blood chilled, but he managed to rein in his shock before it showed wholly on his face, a small sliver bled through, before he could stop it. They wanted to destroy a race based on words. Inconsequential in the short term, but dangerous in the long, it turned out. 

 

"I can see from you face that you are helping them." All eyes flashed to Jim's absolutely neutral expression and the Captain Geillum looked almost geniunely regretful. "Goodbye Captain Kirk." The viewscreen went back to the view of the Warbird. All was silent for a moment. Then, frantic statuses were read out to him, and above them all Chekov yelled "Enemy phasers preparing to fire, Keptin!"

 

Jim went into action. "Chekov, prepare to return fire. Sulu shields up one hundred percent. Scotty," he said down the comm link "Ready the phasers."

 

The frantic reply came "Aye, aye Cap'in! They're ready!" Just as Scotty said those words, the Enterprise was rocked with phaser fire. The ship jolted beneath his feet and he sat heavily back in the Command chair without realizing he'd been standing. 

 

"Shields at sixty-three percent, Captain!" said Sulu, hectically tapping on the console in front of him. 

 

"Enemy preparing to fire again, Keptin!" shouted Chekov above the crash of voices.

 

"Prepare to fire phasers, Chekov," the man in question nodded rapidly "aim for the engines." 

 

"Firing now!" responded Chekov and the crackle of the phasers shot towards the Warbird's engines. "Two direct hits, Keptin! Zey von't be moving anywhere for a while, but the phaser fire has pushed zem into the Neutral Zone." finished Chekov triumphantly.

 

"Great. Good job guys!" Jim projected his voice to the entire Bridge, his tone and smile warm and proud, "I knew I could count on you." he got huge smiles as a return and Jim felt good. Jim settled into the Command chair, and then realized that Regan was organizing everthing, and tidying up after the battle and Jim reminded himself to thank him later, no matter how awkward it was. 

 

"Any damages to any department, Lieutenant Uhura?" ask Jim tapping his fingers worriedly against the sides of the chair.

 

Uhura checked, pulling her headset on. "All clear, Captain. Lieutenant Scotty says ready when you are."

 

"Alright, Mr. Sulu," grinned Jim, rubbing his hands together excitedly, "Punch it at Warp Four."

 

"Ve vill get there in approximately vone hour, Keptin." said Chekov, eagerly looking at his console.

 

Jim smiled, and leaned back in the Command chair, and it had never felt so good. He rested his head on his hands and muttered under his breath, "Just another ordinary day on board the Enterprise."

 

One hour later, as promised, New Vulcan came into sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... There! I hope you guys like it!


	3. Restless Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bones squirms, Jim flirts, Chekov and Sulu have some fun, and New Vulcan is hot.

The New Vulcan soil was a rich red colour, with a deep blue ocean breaching the gaps between the three super-continents, a half of one turned towards the sun-less side of the planet. Numerous islands lay scattered around carelessly, like a child had created this world, and they were spots of deep red among the vast azure of the ocean. A range of mountains rose high, their brash crimson tops seeming to brush the belly of the ship.

 

Jim would never get tired of viewing planets like this, and he leaned forward in the Command chair of the Enterprise, letting his eyes rove over the landscape, like a starving man stares at a piece of pie. "Beautiful," he murmured to himself, "it's always beautiful." Jim crossed his legs and looked around the Bridge, and saw all the crew staring out at the planet like he himself had a moment before, and he grinned to himself. This was why all these men and women were in Starfleet. Because they were struck dumb in the face of such a view. Jim realized that they were not assuming Standard orbit, and saw that Sulu and Chekov were still staring at the view. "Mr. Sulu, assume Standard orbit, if you please," said Jim with an undercurrent of amusement running through his dry tone. 

 

"Yes, sir," Sulu began quickly, back stiffening as he jumped at his Captain's command, he had been absorbed by the view, "assuming Standard orbit as I speak." Sulu nudged Chekov, who closed his mouth with a hurried snap, what Jim could see of his face turned beet red, and he tapped on the console in front of him. Chekov pushed Sulu with his elbow, Sulu responded by turning his face towards Chekov and offering him a huge smile and laid his free hand over Chekov's. The man in question turned even redder, but he didn't move his hand away. 

 

Jim raised one eyebrow, a trick that had cost him many hours in front of a mirror, and smirked. He couldn't say he hadn't seen it coming, the two of them had been growing closer through the two years in deep space, and he knew for a fact that many of the women these two associated with had been trying to push them together, squealing 'they're so cute together!' behind their backs. Jim was glad it had worked out for them. Sulu, noticing his Captain shooting him a knowing look, blushed high on his cheekbones, and removed his hand from Chekov's, whose face had just been calming down, flared red again and Jim stifled a chuckle. 

 

"Mr. Chekov, how soon will we be able to beam down?" he asked the still-flushing Chekov.

 

"I believe Keptin, zat ve vill be able to beam down once ze Wulcans use their scanners to identify us, so zey can lower ze security shield around ze planet." responded Chekov, his hands tugging at his collar, obviously trying to loosen it, but to no avail.

 

"When will they check their scanners?" Jim's hand tapped it's own little rhythm against the arm rest of the Command chair.

 

"From ze information I have, ze Wulcans routinely check their scanners every half hour, and ze next check vill be in..." Chekov checked his console, "In twenty point two five minutes, Keptin." 

 

"Thank-you Mr. Chekov, please continue." the man nodded, and went back to his work

 

He heard the turbo lift doors open, and Jim turned his head to greet whoever happened to walk in the door. Bones walked into the Bridge, and up to the Command chair, and all but growled, "You're coming with me Jim-boy,"

 

"Why?" asked Jim, his tone only slightly whiny, the conversation attracting the attention of the whole Bridge (the conversations between the Captain and Doctor McCoy were hilarious, the satire of legend, if one of the crew saw them, they'd be grilled for weeks by their friends, asking to repeat the conversation word-for-word). But, when Jim flashed a glance at them, to see whether they were listening in, the crew all quickly turned back to their screens.

 

"Because you are, that's why!" 

 

"Trying to proposition me, Bones? Trying to drag me away to have your dirty way with me?" Jim said back in a flirty voice, leaning back, enjoying making Bones squirm.

 

"Godammit Jim! I'm not that sort of friend!"

 

"More the pity," Jim continued in a false disappointed voice, "I'd hoped..." Jim heaved an exaggerated sigh.

 

"I'm this close, Jim." Bones said, making a pinching motion on the word 'this'.

 

"To what, Bones? Jumping me in front of the entire Bridge?" Jim lay back in the chair theatrically, much to the stifled amusement resonating through the Bridge.

 

"This close to dragging you away by your ear like some naughty schoolboy," Jim thought of something very rude to say about that, but he decided not to voice it in front of his crew. "because I need to talk to you in private, you overgrown toddler!"

 

"Okay, Bones, no need to get your panties in a twist. Commander Regan," said Jim, for once addressing his second-in-command, who had been watching the proceedings with a look of faint derision in his eyes. "you have the con, but if the Vulcans hail us, channel it through to my ready- room."

 

"Yes, Captain." Regan replied, moving to the chair his Captain had been sitting in. 

 

Jim walked into his ready-room and sat on the bench running along one wall of the white-walled room, and Bones sat down next to him, when Bones was settled, Jim asked in a teasingly sarcastic tone "You can jump me in private if you like,"

 

"No thank-you," Bones snorted inelegantly, and looked mildly repulsed by the idea, "there are many things that I would do for you, but that is not one of them."

 

"So what would you do?"

 

"I'm not here to discuss that, Jim-boy, although I'm sure you'll remember to discuss it with me some other time."

 

"You bet I will." grinned Jim.

 

"Jim," began Bones in that no-nonsense doctor-y voice, and Jim immediately tensed. He didn't like that tone. It was usually followed with 'you must swallow these pills' or 'come down to Medical' or a hypo in the neck for something or other (Jim still swore that he got his kicks out of jumping out of unexpected places and stabbing him in the neck with a hypo). "this is about your sleeping habits."

 

'Oh, not this again." groaned Jim, letting his head fall back against the wall, and he stared up at the white ceiling. He knew he'd been a light sleeper ever since Tarsus IV, often not sleeping through the night because of nightmares that constantly plagued him, and in fact, tonight (last night? He wasn't sure) was the first night in over a month he'd had free of nightmares. But, then again, who let a tiny psychological trauma rule their life? Sleep is for the weak. 

 

"Oh, yes this again, Jim," Bones groused, "you know I'm only worried about you. Have you been taking those sleeping pills that I prescribed you?"

 

"I know that you're only worried about me," Jim replied, softening his whiny tone, "but I'm just fine. And yes, I have been taking the pills." Lies.

 

Bones looked at him skeptically, and was about to say something, but Commander Regan's voice came through the comm and said, "The Vulcans hailing, Captain. Channel them over?"

 

Jim sighed with relief- saved by the bell. "Please, Commander." Jim made shooing motions to Bones, who moved outside the holovid's sightlines and grumbled under his breath "Shouldn't leave you alone with those green-blooded hobgoblins." Jim rolled his eyes, as he straightened his uniform top and ran a hand through his short blonde hair.

 

The holoscreen opened up, and a handsome expressionless face with blue eyes regarded Jim. The Vulcan in the viewscreen features were typical to his race, up swept eyebrows, pointed ears, and a slight green tinge to his skin that signalled his copper-based blood. "Captain Kirk." said the Vulcan, in a flat baritone voice. "I am Ambassador Sarek, member of the House of Surak."

 

"Greetings, Ambassador Sarek. Starfleet sends its best wishes for you, and heartfelt apologies about old Vulcan." Jim replied, slightly intimidated by the Ambassador, but would never admit it to anyone. 

 

"Wishes are illogical, but we thank you for them anyway." Sarek inclined his head ever so slightly, acknowledging the wishes and apologies. 

 

"My ship is the USS Enterprise, but I do suppose you already know that."

 

"Indeed, Captain." said Sarek.

 

"Where and when would you like us to beam down?" Jim knew that nearly all the crew would beam down, and stay for the majority of the three months down there, but a skeleton crew would have to be in rotas.

 

"I have sent the coordinates to your transporter room, and please beam down eight at a time, and you will be taken to your accommodation."

 

"Very well, Sarek."

 

"I assume all your crew will bring clothing with them? The rest of their needs will be seen to, though."

 

"Of course, Ambassador. We shall commence beaming down in approximately ten minutes."

 

"Until then, Captain Kirk."

 

"Until then." The holoscreen signed off with a beep. Jim let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, and he caught Bones looking at him with a funny look in his eyes. "Have you decided to jump me, finally?" he asked Bones, in a teasing tone.

 

"God, no. I just didn't know you could talk posh like that."

 

"Charming," Jim muttered with a smile on his face.

 

***

 

Beaming everyone down had been a nightmare, but finally it was done, and Jim was one of the only twenty people on board. Chekov and Sulu had volunteered to remain, and then nineteen other people had been assigned to stay as a skeleton crew, they would rotate in twenty-four hours. Jim walked back to his quarters to get his stuff, when he heard someone being slammed against a bulkhead, just around the corner from were he was standing.

 

Jim peeked around the corner and saw Chekov and Sulu snogging against the bulkhead. They were kissing passionately, and Sulu's hands were in Chekov's curly hair, and Chekov's hands were looped around Sulu's shoulders, pressing himself against Chekov. Moans were coming from the pair of them, as their hands started to fly everywhere, chest, ass and crotch. 

 

Ah. This was why they volunteered to stay behind. 

 

Ducking back round the corner, Jim found himself more than little aroused at the sight of two men necking it, and he crept back along the corridor he came from, and decided to find a new way to his quarters.

 

***

 

When Jim materialized on New Vulcan, the first thing he noticed was the heat. It bypassed scorching and went straight to volcanic. He looked around the room he had materialized in, and it was a small capsule with windows around it, and technology in it, and linked on to another building, and it looked like dormitories. Two Vulcans stood side by side, similar, but not identical, one was Sarek, the elder of the two, and he said in the same flat voice "Greetings once again, Captain. I am honoured to welcome you to New Vulcan."

 

"I am honoured to be here." replied Jim, meaning every word.

 

"This is my son, S'chn T'gai Spock," Sarek said, gesturing to the younger Vulcan by his side.

 

S'chn T'gai Spock inclined his head slightly and said in a deep, attractive voice "Greetings, Captain Kirk. You may call me Spock."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank-you, guys, for the kudos and everything! I'm glad you lot like it!


	4. Starry Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one in which the OTP have the first proper coversation.

Jim flopped down on the bed in his room. It was small, and furnished with a small desk, chair and single bed and there was a single adjoining bathroom, that he shared with Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome, (he had to stop thinking like this, Spock was the Ambassador's son, for Lord's sake!) aka, Spock. Jim was completely thrown by his sudden attraction to Spock, and was surprised at that how quickly your world could be turned around, in a world that you were completely sure of your place in. Jim was very, very relieved not to be sharing a bathroom with Regan, (he'd already had enough of that on the Enterprise, thank- you very much) and his bedroom wasn't bad at all. Though he was glad he had brought his PADD, so he could read and entertain himself away from whatever rec-room they had here (the crew had taken a long time to get used to the Captain being in the rec-rooms of the Enterprise, and he was sure even the austere Vulcans would get a little stiff). 

 

The walk over had been slightly awkward, as had the conversation about the natural beauty and the sculptures on either side of the hall, but Jim was certain that he'd be friends with Spock before the month was out. Jim had asked politely if Spock would like to call him by his chosen name, since it was only fair because Jim got to call him Spock. Spock had responded, "You only call me by my chosen name because my first is unpronounceable to those of non- Vulcan decent."

 

Jim had felt slightly embarrassed by this, but didn't show it; for he was nearly as good as a Vulcan at hiding his true emotions deep within himself. "Still," he had replied, "it's only fair." 

 

When they got to his room, Jim having no idea were this was, having spent nearly all of the journey there ogling Spock, who walked on, thankfully, seemed not to notice the scrutiny. Spock had deep brown eyes, framed by thick black lashes, with black hair that had grown to cover his pointed ears, he had a lanky, but muscular, body, were his father had solid body mass. He was wearing a high collared deep blue shirt on, and black trousers, and Jim thought that he must be unbearably hot in them, but he thought it politer not to ask.Jim noticed that he kept his hands tightly behind his back all the time they were walking together, as if someone would jump out of the woodwork and criticize him for walking. 

 

In the present, Jim sat up and sighed, began to put away his clothes in the desk drawer, and glanced towards the bathroom, hoping for a quick shower before the meeting of all the department heads of the Enterprise and the Vulcan High Council, in an hour, to discuss the work placements for the crew of the Enterprise. He thought of all the work he had to do, assigning positions, numberless reports to Starfleet, assuring the Vulcans of his captaincy, making sure things were running smoothly, performing checks on the workers and sitting in diplomatic meetings, having to look interested and enthusiastic. And that wasn't even addressing his sudden attraction to Mr. Spock. Ugh. This was going to be hard.

 

Jim set a bottle of sleeping pills on his desk, Bones having shoved them into his hands, saying with a shrewd look, "Here, Jim-boy, take them down to New Vulcan with you, just in case." Jim had taken them, mainly to placate Bones, who'd been seconds from beaming down planetside, but he was sure he was never going to take sleeping medication again. Once, he had tried, but the haze of drugs had just prolonged the dusty, old nightmare.

 

Grabbing a towel, Jim vaulted over the bed and opened the door to the bathroom cautiously, (he'd learned his lesson last time) and thankfully, no naked Spock greeted him. Jim wouldn't have the willpower to keep his eyes front and centre. He dumped his towel on the counter next to the sink, and locked both doors from the inside with an audible click. Jim stripped off his clothes, leaving them in a puddle on the floor, stepped into the shower cubicle, he saw only a tap, no bucket of water, and was impressed. It was incredible that the Vulcans had managed to build this vast building and a running water system in around two years. Jim felt slightly guilty about bitching so much about this mission when the Vulcans had lost their entire planet. He'd had thought that he'd have nothing to do with Vulcans, unless they joined Starfleet, after Nero. 

 

Jim turned on the water, and shuddered, the cold temperature fiercely contrasting with the heat of the New Vulcan day. He decided that it must be collected in underground reservoirs, and began to hum a tune, that developed into singing after a while of jumping around, trying to get used to the water's cool temperature. He sung fairly quietly, although Jim's deep voice still seemed to permeate every corner of the window-less bathroom. 

 

Tick off the time-bomb,  
Let felicity fly!  
Armour the airlock,  
Blanket the bedrock,  
And kiss the planet goodbye! 

 

Dear God, I was terribly lost,  
When the galaxies crossed,  
And the Sun went dark.  
Dear God, You're the only North Star,  
I would follow this far.

 

Fight back the flight deck,  
Bring on the breakneck,  
Cue the solar eclipse!  
Summit the sunset,  
Ducktail the dragnet,  
And blow your backbone to bits!

 

Dear God, I was terribly lost,  
When the galaxies crossed,  
And the Sun went dark.  
Dear God, You're the only North Star,  
I would follow this far.

 

Oh telescope, keep an eye on my only hope,  
Lest I blink and be swept off the narrow road.  
Hercules, you've got nothing to say to me,  
'Cause you're not the blinding light that I need.

 

For He is the saving grace of the Galaxies!  
He is the saving grace of the Galaxies

 

Dear God, I was terribly lost,  
When the galaxies crossed,  
And the Sun went dark.  
Dear God, You're the only North Star,  
I would follow this far.

 

I would follow this far.

 

Jim wouldn't call himself religious, although the song was quite, but he liked the lyrics, they were about finding a new home, because the singer's old one had been lost, and he thought it aptly applicable to the Vulcans' situation. But, it also spoke of finding a new home, and the excitement of that, and Jim approved of the song's sentiment. He finished washing away the sweat and grime from his hair and body, and jumped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist, picked up his clothes, and holding his towel unlocked from the inside both doors and walked into his room, trying to leave as little water puddles as possible. 

 

***

 

 

Spock knocked on his door at exactly one hour after he'd left Jim there. "Just a second!" called Jim, who was trying to pull on his uniform shirt, while thinking, 'Damn! What is with Vulcans and their punctuality?', though there was no real heat behind the thought. He paced towards the door, straightening his uniform as he did, and opened it to see Spock standing elegantly a few steps ahead, and Jim felt his whole body heat up, though it didn't show on his face as he said with a smile on his face, "Right on time, Spock." 

 

The Vulcan regarded him gravely, although Jim could see the answering smile in Spock's eyes. "Indeed."

 

They began to walk towards the meeting room, the red New Vulcan soil gleaming in the light of the mid- afternoon sun through a low window in the corridor. Jim tried to make small talk in the journey, "So, are you going to be present in the meeting?"

 

"No, but I thought it best to take you there, because you do not know the way."

 

"Very thoughtful, Spock, thanks."

 

"No problem, Jim, although you should take note of the surroundings so I do not have to do it again."

 

"Right again, Mr. Spock." Jim cringed internally at the thought of the Vulcan having been aware of Jim studying him. They passed a door to the outside of the building, and Jim noted it for future reference. They reached a door much like any other in the building, and Spock said, "This is the meeting chamber, all of your people along with the High Council will be in there."

 

"Thank-you, Spock." Jim took a risk, because he liked what he had seen of the Vulcan, and not just his body. "Would you be interested in a game of chess, in my quarters, though you'd have to bring your own chair."

 

Spock's eyes widened minutely and Jim thought he saw alarm flare in his eyes for a brief second before the stone look was back, "I would be delighted, Jim." the words were stiff, formal. "What time do you suggest?"

 

"I think the meeting should be finished around eighteen hundred hours, so then at eighteen hundred and thirty hours?"

 

"I shall be there." Spock walked off, his back ramrod straight and hands still tightly clasped behind his back. Jim sighed, and entered the meeting room.

 

***

 

The meeting was straightforward and issues were addressed in a brusque and formal manner. When Jim had walked in, he had smiled and nodded at the Vulcans and his crew, the latter of which had smiled back, and the former who had nodded gravely in return, apart from one, an old male Vulcan, whose face was stone-like, but his eyes stared at Jim like he was a feast just out of his reach. He later found out that the Elder's name was Selek.

 

All the departments were assigned work placements, Medical would help the Vulcan healers, who had been struggling to deal with the thousand and so that were injured, Security would help guard the Science workers from both peoples as they explored, Engineering would update the security grid around the planet, a huge task, Geologists and Environmental workers would sample the rocks, and start compiling a list of fauna and flora, the Communicators and Linguistics departments would help teach the Vulcan children (and some adults too) different key languages and all, including the Command team, would have to do some manual labour to help build the city of New ShiKahr. Jim didn't particularly mind manual labour, and wasn't about to complain even if he did, he just wasn't the sort.

 

Jim left the meeting feeling happy and tired, having addressed all the main issues, and sent his crew to inform their departments to get ready for tomorrow, and inform them of the timetable of meals that had also been discussed in the meeting. Breakfast was at seven hundred hours sharp, lunch and thirteen hundred hours, and dinner at eighteen hundred hours. He'd missed dinner, but he wasn't hungry anyway, having eaten a large lunch just in case this happened. As Jim wandered back to his quarters, he wondered if he should call a rain check on the chess game, but quickly dismissed the idea. Spock had been reluctant as it was, and canceling it now would put a halt on the minute friendship that was developing. 

 

He entered his quarters, and checked his watch, it was eighteen hundred and twenty five hours. Five minutes. Jim hooked the chess board with one hand, and set it on the desk, and pulled it up to its' full height and set up the pieces. Just as he was placing the last one, a quiet knock came from the door, "Come in," Jim said, and Spock entered the room with trepidation, as if Jim was going to jump him as he walked through the door. He smiled, and gestured to Spock to put his chair on the other side of the desk, which Spock promptly did. "What colour do you want to be?" Jim asked

 

"White." Spock replied, and made his first move. At the end of the game, Spock had flattened Jim, but he still grinned at the end (having spent the game with his brow knitted with concentration), while Spock still looked wary, as if Jim might yell at him for winning.

 

"Care for a rematch?" asked Jim, a challenging glint in his eye as Spock nodded his assent. 

 

Five games later, it was deep night, the starlight coming into the room through the high window above his bed, and Jim had won two matches, and what he could see of Spock's eyebrows went up. It was a sign of emotion, and Jim counted it as a win. At the end of the fifth match, though, Spock said, "Jim, I must go. Thank- you."

 

"No problems, Spock, rematch at the same time tomorrow?"

 

"If you wish it." before he left, Jim offered his goodbyes and then he left. Although Spock had been relaxing infinitesimally throughout the games, he tensed up again as he walked out the door. He grinned at nothing, pleased at how this night had turned out, not noticing the pills that he had put on his nightstand, but Spock had seen.

 

***

 

Jim woke abruptly, his breath sawing in his chest and throat, the blanket on the floor, and his hands fisted in the sheets so hard that the knuckles had turned white. It was the same nightmare again. He always had nightmares from Tarsus IV, but this one was recurring frequently. It started with Kodos' men holding him back, him tugging at them, screaming to let himself die instead of his aunt, uncle and little cousins. Kodos' men held him to the dusty earth, but yanked his head up at a painful angle to let him hear the shots fired at his family, and see his little cousins, Amy was only four, being shot and then them falling into the mass grave, were countless others had fallen. He kicked and screamed and ran, but he could never get away from the nightmares, the grief, the pain that tore him to shreds, and the guilt that he lived while they died.

 

He curled on his side, waves of pain and self-loathing radiating from his core. When they were under control again, he lay on his back for a few seconds and checked his watch. Three hundred hours. Jim groaned quietly and stood, pulling on a black shirt to go with his shorts, and soundlessly opened his door and crept through the halls, and pulled open the doors leading to the outside. The heat was lesser than it was in the day, but still warm and moist. He sank down against the wall of the dorm building, and tilted his head up, staring at the stars. They were so clear here. The constellations unfamiliar, but familiar somehow, their beauty calming down his racing heart as he let his eyes drift among them, and his mind wander to happier memories.

 

An undetermined time later, he heard Spock's voice "Jim," the man in question jumped and turned to Spock, with a wan smile on his face.

 

"They should put a bell on you, Spock, you move like a cat."

 

Spock carried on like he hadn't even spoken. "Jim, what are you doing outside?"

 

Jim cast his eyes to the stars, and drew his legs up beneath his chin, and then turned his gaze to Spock. "Just stargazing, nothing more than that." He quirked a corner of his mouth at him, in a weak approximation of his usually sunny smiles.

 

"Why now?"

 

Jim ran a hand over his face, Spock was just going to drag it out of him, wasn't he? "A nightmare."

 

"I see," Spock's tone wasn't suspicious, wary, just flat. 

 

"Why are you out here?" asked Jim, and rested his head on his hands, gazing up at Spock, who was illuminated by the stars and twin moons, looked positively ethereal.

 

"I heard you coming out of your room, and I went to find out where you were. Only logical." he said it as if he was defending himself, reflected Jim, and he's wound so tightly all the time, I wonder if losing Earth would effect the Human race so strongly. Jim hoped he never had to find out. 

 

Jim pulled himself to his feet, and then found his face very close to Spock's, looking into each other's eyes. Jim felt himself blush.

 

Time froze.

 

They shared a breath.

 

Then Spock broke away, the only sign of his tension the cords standing out on his neck and wrists. But each brittle word spoke for itself. "I will be returning to my quarters, Captain." He walked briskly and tensely away, and shut the door behind him, careful though not to lock the other man out.

 

Jim sank back against the wall and thought, 'What was that about?' he knew that he was attracted to the man, but that was nearly kissing! He'd known the man for what? Nearly a day and a quarter?

 

He had a feeling, and couldn't decide whether it was good or bad, that he was going to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song belongs to owl city! i claim no ownership! I'm glad all you guys like it! be warned, the next chapters will be slightly awkward.


	5. Many Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stones, marmite and cat-creatures.

Eating his Vulcan- brand whatever- it- was breakfast while sitting next to Bones, bantering as they usually did, Jim was studiously trying to keep his eyes off Spock, who had his nose buried in a PADD on a two person table in the corner of the room. _Shit._ In checking to see where Spock was, he'd had to look- _and now Spock was looking at him!_ Jim was sure that all the Vulcans in the building could feel the embarrassment radiating off him in waves, and indeed, some Vulcans that were sitting close to Jim's table stiffened ever so slightly, you wouldn't have seen it if you weren't looking for it. They hadn't spoken for two days, and Jim was feeling an awkward mixture of humiliation from his near kiss, and irritation that they couldn't just ignore it and move on with their lives and friendship. Really, come on, he'd hit on Bones so many times that he'd lost count (well, seven hundred and twenty-one times). He must have been tensing his shoulders, because Bones hit him with his elbow and drawled "Cat got your tongue, Jim, 'cause you've been awful silent these past few minutes, and I swear that's the quietest you've been in two years!"

 

"Yeah!" Uhura chimed in, "I thought you were having some sort of seizure!"

 

Jim turned and smiled brilliantly, untensing his shoulders, and turning his back to Spock. "Well, if that's your reaction to me shutting up for once, then I won't shut up ever again, but I must say, I touched that you care so much."

 

Chekov, Sulu, Uhura, Bones and Scotty all groaned at once. "We didn't mean that Cap'in! Feel free to shut up any time you like."

 

Throwing his arm around Bones' shoulders, Jim said teasingly, "Nope! You guys can't take it back now, especially because I now know how much you love my voice. And now," he continued gesturing grandly, "you have a whole day of me talking at you while we do manual labour! Won't that be just dandy?" They all, apart from Bones, who was used to Jim's talk-a-thons, looked slightly intimidated at the thought. 

 

***

 

The city of New ShiKahr, was just out of the planning stages. Planks of wood and stone stood on the red soil, crushing the little green shrubs that poked up from the ground. Jim stepped out of the air bus, (imported by the Federation from the industry planet Munius 12) and was immediately blasted with heat, and makes the white tee he was wearing stick to his chest. Jim's hands held a lunch pack that all the crew had been given but the Vulcans. Bones, Uhura, Scotty, Chekov, Sulu and around forty-one of the other Enterprise crew stepped out behind them, with a few of the Vulcan project leaders, and some ordinary workers. The air bus lifted off the ground, and zipped back in the direction of the dorm building to collect more workers. One hundred Vulcans a day worked on the city; and the rota continued until all the Vulcans that were able to work had done a day and then the rota started again, it took nine days for the cycle to repeat itself. The Enterprise crew would join in, and would tag along to the day they had been assigned to, the other days they would continue doing their regular duties. For Jim, this included lording over his crew while they did their duties, and paperwork to help transport machinery to help with the construction of ShiKahr. 

 

The Vulcan leaders gestured for Jim to join them, along with the other Vulcan workers that had come today. He turned to his crew, and said cheerily "C'mon guys!" and walked towards the Vulcans with a bounce in his step, who all had a face of slight disapproval at his emotional display, but they would just have to deal. Humans were an emotional race.

 

"Please pair your crew up, Captain." intoned a Vulcan project leader with a squat build and bullish neck. Jim's crew having heard the order began to grab their friends and pair up. Jim let them; they might as well have someone they liked to talk to on their first day on the job. Later, Jim decided, would he make them pair up with the Vulcans, assuming they hadn't already made friends at that point. 

 

Bones looked uncertainly at Jim as Uhura grabbed his arm and whispered something in his ear. He was a little peeved that he didn't get to spend the day with his friend, but let it go. As the Captain, he needed to set an example, unfortunately. It would be better for interspecies relations if he paired up with a Vulcan, so he nodded his support at Bones, who relaxed, and actually looked a lot less grumpy for once.

 

"Already done." Jim replied, loosely folding his arms in a relaxed gesture.

 

"Very well." 

 

When all of the Vulcans, except one (both species seemed to have an odd number), had been paired up, Jim moved to join up with the solitary figure on the other side of the crowd. Most of the Vulcans eyed him on the way past for some reason, but Jim in his usual cocky fashion, just sauntered with head held high and a half smile on his face. 

 

Wait- Jim recognized that elegant figure and stiff posture.

 

It was Spock.

 

This was going to be awkward.

 

But still, Jim continued walking, pretending not to be phased by the sight of Spock. When he reached Spock he cleared his throat, to attract the Vulcan's attention, and Spock turned very slowly around. Jim couldn't decipher any of his emotions under that cold, blank mask. "Hi, Mr. Spock. I believe we've met before." was all said with a confident smile.

 

"Yes, Captain Kirk. I believe so." Spock was rigid; the words were said so tensely they almost cracked. 

 

"Well, I think that we need to partner up, 'cause there's nobody else to partner up with from both species." 

 

Spock glanced around almost imperceptibly and looked as resigned as a Vulcan can get, and nodded. They both turned to the front, were the project leaders had just began to speak in a monotone about the health and safety regulations, the unknown fauna, and the work that needed to be done. 

 

"The work placements that you will be assigned today will be your work placements until you leave," talking to the Enterprise crew, "and until the machinery comes." All the Vulcans nodded gravely (did they have a non- grave way of doing things?!) and stood in a queue to get assigned their job. Spock stood in a tense silence, while Jim felt slightly awkward, but was relaxed and smiley. When they had got to the front of the queue, the rest of the Enterprise crew behind them, the leaders said "Organizing stones in quadrant Alpha-zero." without looking up at them, and pointing to the map on the folding table behind them. 

 

They advanced to the table, and Jim glances over the map, and seeing that they have almost one mile to trek in the blistering heat, nearly groaned aloud. Spock, however, moved of without a sound, and followed the other couples of Vulcans branching off to their work placements. Jim swivelled round, and began to walk backwards and waved to his crew with a cheeky smile and yelled "See you guys later!" most of the crew smiled back and lifted their hands, but Bones just grumbled and glowered, but with a half-smile on his face. Jumping back round he hurried to keep up with the Vulcan's long strides. 

 

***

 

Jim tried to make small talk during the journey to Alpha-zero quadrant, but it fell on deaf ears. When they reached the blocks of stone that were about the size of a dinner plate at the smallest and the largest would take them both to move, and about five hundred metres from the nearest pair of other people, Jim chirped at Spock "So what exactly does stone organizing mean?"

 

"Sorting out the stones due to colour and size." 

 

"That shouldn't take more than a century." said Jim sarcastically; looking at the stones, there had to be at least a million.

 

"No, it should take a lot less. Approximately ten point-" he sounded almost puzzled.

 

Interrupting him, Jim said disbelievingly, "That was _sarcasm._ Haven't you heard sarcasm before?"

 

"No. It is not logical." He was so stiff Jim thought rigor mortis had set in.

 

"Oh, my friend," chortled Jim and slapped the Vulcan on the shoulder, "I'm gonna give you an education!"

 

"Are you, Jim?" the man in question was surprised by Spock's change in demeanour, but wasn't about to question it, he was just glad to get through the awkward stuff. Jim had read up on Vulcans on the way back to Earth, and had even picked up a large Vulcan vocabulary, but the one thing that the Starfleet article seemed to omit, probably because none were in Starfleet, is that they are touch telepaths. Jim thought that they just didn't like being touched, and Jim always got in everyone's personal space. Perhaps, if he'd known at that moment, he wouldn't have touched Spock. Or he might have. Jim's just a wildcard.

 

***

 

Over the next three weeks, Jim and Spock became tentative friends. Well, tentative on Spock's part and as subtle as a rumble of thunder on Jim's. On the rest of their first day on the work placement, Jim chattered on endlessly about sarcasm and Human colloquialisms with Spock interjecting a few questions and "That is illogical." from time to time. Their chess games started up again, and they got to know each other better, sharing likes and dislikes, as well as a fateful discussion on marmite.

 

"C'mon Spock! You know you want to." Jim wheedled holding up a small pot of marmite to the Vulcan's nose and waving a spork in his face.

 

"No, I know I do not want to try that foodstuff." but Spock said it in an almost resigned tone, and Jim knew that he'd nearly busted through Spock's stubbornness. They were in an empty rec room, which had a window out into the night and relaxing on a sofa.

 

"Please, Spock, I'll try a Vulcan food without complaining if you try this." Spock had been trying to get Jim to try Plomeek Soup. Jim had refused on the grounds of his allergies, but really just didn't want to try the soup. "It was bright orange, for God's sake!" Jim had explained to Bones and the rest of them at dinner one night, while Bones was grumbling on about how Jim spent too much time with "That damned pointy-eared hobgoblin." But Jim had never really cared what anyone had thought.

 

Spock almost sighed, Jim was very good at exasperating him, and he knew it. "Very well." 

 

Jim triumphantly handed Spock the little pot, gave him a spork and said "A spork for Spock." Spock raised his eyebrow and dipped the spork in the pot, coming up with a little marmite on the utensil. He put it in his mouth and his expression didn't change, though one of his hands gave a small involuntary twitch. Jim was grinning manically, only barely keeping his laughter in check, but when Spock gave a dainty little cough, which was the Vulcan equivalent, Jim guessed, to spitting out the marmite all over the floor and retching dramatically. That did it. Jim doubled over as he howled with laughter, breath coming in short gasps as he fell off the sofa and onto the floor as he rolled around, laughing for all he was worth. When he had calmed down enough to breathe, he looked up at Spock from his position with his back on the floor with a devilish smile on his face.

 

"So, did you enjoy that?" Jim said in the most innocent tone he could muster.

 

Spock raised an eyebrow and said with dignity, "I did not. But I am sure you will enjoy the foodstuff I plan to give to you." 

 

 _Oops._ thought Jim with trepidation, _this isn't going to end well for me._

 

And that was the marmite incident. 

 

Anyway, during those three weeks, Jim felt his attraction and fascination towards Spock growing, instead of fading away, like most of Jim's crushes, and this frightened him a bit, so he didn't give it much thought. But he kept noticing things about Spock, the way his cheeks got slightly evergreen flushed when he exerted himself and the way his hair curved down his head in a silky wave. Sometimes, he caught himself staring at the other man, and when he did, Jim turned away with a slight flush on his face. Jim also grew to trust Spock more than anyone he'd ever known, maybe omitting Bones, and Jim felt he could trust Spock with his life. He hoped Spock felt the same. 

 

***

 

It was three weeks and two days into their mission on New Vulcan, and Jim was scheduled to oversee the science officers and several Vulcans in looking at the flora and fauna on the planet. Three days previously, they had discovered an oasis, and they now were going spent time there, collecting samples and observing for wildlife. Jim set out in his Starfleet uniform, it being study and hard wearing, with his phaser set to stun on his hip. Jim was surprised though, when Spock turned up, he'd thought that the Vulcan was more suited to experimenting with dangerous chemicals in the lab, rather than trekking through the bush. 

 

"Hi guys!" Jim greeted his crew with a sunny smile and hands on their shoulders. "Great day for exploring an unknown oasis on an unfamiliar planet!" it was a lovely day; the soil blushed under the sun, and the sky a deep aquamarine. The meeting place for the team was a little ways from the building, under a small tree, at nine hundred hours. The crew smiled back, and Letheson's grin was the most brilliant of all, anyone could see she was really excited for today. Jim turned and beamed at Spock, who didn't smile back, but Jim saw the smile and warmth in his eyes.

 

As the last Security guy came running up, panting with the exertion and launched into a flying apology, "SorryI'mlatesirmyalarmdidn'tgooffand-" 

 

Jim waved it off, with a friendly and kind expression, and stated "It doesn't matter Ensign Cosgrove," Jim saw the younger man become more happy when he saw the Captain knew his name, "you're here now and that's what counts." glancing around the party, which consisted of about eleven individuals and said "Who knows the way there?"

 

"I do, Captain." said one of the Vulcans, a female around his age.

 

"Very well, Miss, lead on." he grinned at her and Spock shot him an almost bemused look from his side. The entire party stood and followed the female Vulcan, but dissolved into groups of friends, and Jim was pleased to see Letheson chatting to a male Vulcan who listened gravely. He let himself fall into step with Spock, and gave him the stink-eye teasingly. "What was that look for?"

 

"I do not know what you mean, Jim." replied Spock in a perfectly level tone. They were at the back of the group; the three people in the security detail were ranged out along the rest of the party, alert for danger. 

 

"Oh yes you do." When Spock didn't respond Jim nudged him with an elbow and said in a gentler tone, "C'mon Spock, you can tell me, you read me like a book, could you give me an insight into that massive brain of yours?"

 

Spock appeared startled and remarked in a low tone, full of some unspoken emotion, "You read me better than most, if not all, people that I have met." Some warm feeling swelled in his chest.

 

Love?

 

No, it couldn't be. Jim Kirk didn't fall in love. Such an emotion was doomed to fail.

 

He swallowed. He was doomed.

 

Somehow, Jim replied in a lighter tone "But I only see the surface, tell me what's really going on."

 

Spock lifted his shoulders in a minute sigh, "I just thought that you would lead your people, that is all."

 

"Oh," Jim began, and then continued in a teasing, bright voice, "and get everyone lost, Mr.Spock, I'm glad you think so much of me, but I would get lost." Spock's lips twitched and they followed their party through the underbrush, keeping the mood light.

 

***

 

When they reached the oasis, the very air seemed to change. It was slightly humid and a dense coat of grass sprung up beneath the party's feet. There were even tall trees with smooth segmented trunks and heavily serrated leaves, some of the trees even had deep purple flowers about the size of a grapefruit on them. There were fern- like plants that created a lush barrier between the trees, and the air was occasionally pierced with some kind of animal call, Jim wandered through the tiny forest, Spock having ran off to take samples with an excited gleam in his eyes, and even the other Vulcans seemed more animated. All the Enterprise crew had rushed off in a flurry, and Security had a tough time tracking everybody, and making sure they were safe. When Jim reached the water, he gasped with the beauty of the scene, there was a small lake that was a navy blue with green plants growing around the top. He saw the people from his party rushing about on the opposite side of the lake. It was a fairy-tale place.

 

If that wasn't enough to make Jim wary, then he didn't know what did.

 

Jim wandered around, keeping alert, but allowing himself to take leaves and look around the lake. He even climbed half way up a tree, and then fell down with a thump. The Enterprise crew, who had been having lunch nearby, burst out laughing, Jim did as well, Spock raised an eyebrow, and the other Vulcans seemed amused. 

 

Emotionless Vulcans. Yeah, right. He'd seen through that lie weeks ago.

 

When Jim got up, he heard a faint sound, like a twig breaking, but quieter. He paused and tipped his head to the side, listening hard. Spock saw what he was doing, and was at his side in an instant. The rest of the party stopped talking, and looked towards them and the Security detail stood and drew their phasers, the atmosphere at once going tense and alert. "What is it Jim?" asked Spock quietly. 

 

"Some noise, I'm not sure-" as he was speaking the noise turned into a continuous growl. His eyes widened. "Oh shit." The rest of the party stood, poised to flee, and the detail aimed their weapons towards the growl. "Run. Now." barked Jim, at once the Captain he was born to be. He pushed Spock towards the rest of the party and as he did so, an animal sprang out of the underbrush. It was a huge cat-like creature with blood red fur and a long sickle claw on each foot. Its' mouth was open in a snarl.

 

"Run. Now." he repeated. Jim drew his phaser and got in between the creature and his party. "That's an order!" he bellowed at the other people who had been standing as if they were frozen to the spot. They ran, all except Spock. "Didn't you hear me?" he yelled at Spock, not turning his eyes away from the creature that was trying to follow the fleeing people. 

 

"I will not leave you." Spock replied in a determined voice from somewhere behind him.

 

"This isn't up for debate, Spock!"

 

"No."

 

"Oh for fuck's sake, just run!"

 

"No." was the response, and Jim had had enough. He backed up to where Spock was standing and turned his face to Spock's, his aim never wavering on the creature who was still ducking around, snarling all the while. 

 

"Stop being so bloody stubborn!" Jim growled and shoved him off balance between two trees that the gap was small enough that he'd get stuck for a while. Jim shot a phaser blast at the creature, and it dodged around it, coming up closer to Jim as it swerved around the shot. Jim aimed and fired again, missing once more, and the creature came and slashed with both claws at his ribs and neck.

 

Jim raised his arm to cover his neck, and felt a deep line of blazing pain come from his arm. He felt bone being scraped on his ribs and couldn't stop a moan of pain. Jim heard more violent thrashing in the bushes that could only mean Spock was fighting to free himself from the trees. He was bleeding heavily now, and the creature's ivory claws were stained red with his blood. Ignoring the agony from his ribs and arm, he aimed one last shot at the creature, which was now very close. He hit it with a stun blast, and the creature toppled like tree being felled. Holding his ribs, Jim went round to Spock and saw that he had finally freed himself from the trees. Spock's eyes widened at the red dripping of his arm and body, and rushed to support Jim. 

 

"If I get out of this," Jim panted as he began to lose consciousness, "we're going to have a serious chat about your survival instinct." Jim collapsed, letting the darkness carry him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> argh! none of my friends are trekkies. they do not understand that spock and kirk are desperately in love with each other. I AM ALONE IN MY FEELS.


	6. First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realizations, sneaking, and kissing

Fever dreams gripped Jim. 

 

Colours swirled sickeningly around him, making him nauseous and ill. The colours coalesce into memories, the stuff that he keeps boxed down deep in his mind, the memory of Frank's hits and punches, of the casual verbal abuse and the torrent of hate that filled him. The memory of skull crushing under his blunt weapon on Tarsus IV, the fear of death, the thought that he would do anything to let the others survive that hellhole. The hunger that tore his belly, and the food only just out of reach, taunted by Kodos' men and being lured into traps like an animal. These memories made him writhe and moan, and the heat on his arms and torso grew to a staggering degree, burning him up from the inside out. He heard Bones growling in the familiar Georgian cadence and that rolled dizzily around skull. 

 

Half- consciousness came to Jim at uncertain moments, a slight amount of reality coming through onto his fever-racked mind. He saw Selek, the strange Elder, bending over his bed, and whispering something that didn't permeate his ears. Spock came also, pressing his hand to the crease of his elbow and was saying repeatedly, until someone came past he guessed, "Jim. Jim, please wake up," Jim tried, he really did, but every time he came close the fever dreams dragged his mind back to the horrors that he would rather keep under wraps. He felt Bones standing at the end of his bed, checking his chart and growling and mumbling. Once, Bones sat down on the chair beside his bed stared hard and he rumbled "You better get well again, Jim-boy, 'cause that Vulcan of yours is frantic, not that he shows it, but he is." Jim reckoned that it was Bones' way of crying at his bedside.

 

An undetermined amount of time past.

 

***

 

Jim woke from his fever dreams slowly, coming up through the layers of consciousness that his mind had buried itself in. He blinked open his eyes, stared at the ceiling, and became aware of his parched mouth and weak body. He lifted one hand and ran it over his face, rubbing his eyes to try and get them to focus more on his surroundings. There was soft, even breathing coming from close to his bed, Jim turned and looked over to the right hand side. Spock was there, asleep, with deep rings underneath his eyes and he looked as if he'd lost a couple of pounds as well, weight he couldn't afford to lose, Jim noted worriedly, and he resolved to make Spock eat fatty Terran foods. Levering himself into a sitting position, his arms almost giving way two times, he breathed letting his eyes wander over Spock's beautiful still form. 

 

The man that Jim loved.

 

He swallowed, only truly admitting it and saying it to himself for the first time. 

 

"Spock," murmured Jim in a gentle tone, "Spock, wake-up." He placed his hand on the other man's knee and gently shook it. Spock opened his eyes, looked confused and bleary for a second, and when he took in that Jim was sitting up and had a gentle, kind look on his face matched by a soft smile.

 

"How long have I been out?"

 

"Five point three three six days, Jim." Five days. Jim thought of all the work he had to do to catch up.

 

Spock cleared his throat, his cheekbones flushing a delicate green until he got himself under control. "I will inform Doctor McCoy you are awake." his voice almost cracked, and strain showed in the line of his body, Jim felt guilt that he had caused this reaction in his Spock. _I can't keep thinking like this!_ His Spock made to leave the tendons straining his skin. 

 

"Wait, Spock." Jim's voice felt creaky with disuse and rumbled in his chest like thunder. Spock turned; still tense and stiff, waiting for what Jim had to say. "Thank-you for sitting with me and staying." _I love you._ was in the subtext unspoken and unvoiced, and Jim hoped Spock wouldn't hear it. Friendship was all Spock wanted, and Jim was happy to offer it if it meant he could share time with the Vulcan. 

 

He softened, and his eyes smiled. "It was my pleasure, Jim." He turned and walked out the door, into the ward of the dorm building, Jim guessed again. He lay back against the wall, its coolness welcome on his hot dry skin. 

 

A moment later, though, Bones came stomping through the door, ranting all the while and destroying the peace in the small hospital room. "Dammit, Jim! We nearly lost you twice! It was a reckless fool thing to do, standin' up to a unknown animal like that! What if it was poisonous, hmm? What if it had hit some arteries? We could have lost you, Jim, and the Enterprise needs her Captain!" Bones was going the whole hog; throwing his hands in the air, nostrils flaring and mouth moving at warp speed. 

 

Jim watched Bones with a certain amount of peace, this at least was as it normally was after a dangerous mission. He cleared his throat, like Spock had before him, and said with a brazen smile on his face, "That sounds like too many 'what ifs', Bones; you know I don't believe in no-win scenarios." Still growling, Bones clomped up and withdrew a hypo and stabbed him in the neck and Jim squeaked like a little girl. "Ow! We gotta improve your bedside manner Bones."

 

"It serves you right!" 

 

"Humph." Jim sulked against the wall while Bones checked his chart and he voiced his resigned plea, "Will you let me out today?" he crossed his arms, and tried the _aren't I cute_ look. 

 

"No way in hell," said Bones decisively, "and don't you dare try and sneak out, 'cause I'll be watching." shoving his chart down at the end of the bed and checked Jim's fluid levels and heartbeat on his tricorder. It was hard to see through his general grumpiness and anger, but Jim had had a lot of practice in these arts, he saw the worry beneath the exterior.

 

"What happened Bones?" 

 

The man in question ran a hand over his face and sat down on the chair beside him, as he had done once before. The Georgian accent got stronger, like it always did when he was upset. "Well, the first thing I heard was the party runnin' like the devil himself was on their heels, an' you and Spock weren't among them. I checked them over an' not a scratch on 'em, though some of the younger Vulcans were in shock." He took a deep breath, and Jim listened intently for once in his life. "But you two still didn't rock up. Sarek was as mad with worry over Spock as a Vulcan can get, and insisted that search parties be sent out, and that weird Elder Selek seemed worried too." Curiouser and curiouser. "Anyways, night fell an' the both of you didn't turn up. At midnight though, Spock showed, carryin' you like a fainted damsel, an' he were red with your blood, and he growled at the people who tried to touch you and he carried you straight here. You were bare breathing when he got you here, and those wounds were infected, and the regenerator here is shit, that's why you'll have those big scars forever now." Jim looked at his forearm, and saw the ripple of scar tissue that wound around his arm. "Spock hardly left, only to add that creature to the list of animals and to eat when I made him." He meditated on that fact, did Spock love him back? All the evidence pointed to yes, but Jim was reluctant to reveal his own feelings in case he got his heart broken. Bones' eyes fixed on his and he rumbled "Be careful with that Vulcan, kid. He's delicate." Jim knew what he meant. 

 

Don't break Spock's heart.

 

Jim didn't think he could, not without breaking his own, but Bones didn't know that he felt this way. 

 

Putting a hand on the good doctor's shoulder he thanked him. "Thanks Bones, for not letting me die and stuff. I totally knew you were going to be the best doctor ever." 

 

Bones smiled, the worry and frown lines melted away. "No worries kid, I'll probably be patchin' you up from another brush with death in a few weeks." Jim smiled too, letting his sunny look fill up his face. The doctor left, slamming a cup of water down on his bedside table and with the gruff parting line: "Don't even dare thinkin' about sneakin' away; I've got Nurse Chapel keepin' a eye on you, and I'll bring you food when your stomach settles."

 

Thoughtfully drinking his water, Jim began to plan his escape.

 

***

 

Jim cursed with annoyance; the only thing he had on were a pair of boxers, there was no way he was going to escape in those and Jim searched around the room, keeping his footsteps light, even though he was a little shaky on his feet. _Score!_ Jim found a clean uniform beneath his bed in Command gold, presumably left there by Spock, who knew him better than he knew. 

 

He had timed Nurse Chapel's breaks to every hour, for five minutes, for she was keeping guard on the door.

 

Hmmm.

 

It seemed Bones knew him too well too. 

 

Putting on the uniform, Jim tried and failed to keep his eyes of the large scars running over his ribs and arm. They were ugly, but Jim would wear them with pride. He got those saving people. That was worth the loss of some of his physical attraction. 

 

Chapel left on her five minute break, and Jim walked out the door, wincing as the movement stretched the new scar tissue. With his head held high and a forced bounce in his step, he knew that no-one would question him. He was the Captain after all. Almost strutting through the door to the hospital, and he continued down the hallway, past most of the rec-rooms until he stopped outside what he had affectionately termed 'Mine and Spock's' rec-room. It was empty save for Spock, who was staring out into the evening light, the sun setting off the blood-red soil, and the sun set in a green and blue display.

 

Jim leaned against the frame, and watched Spock for moment. He thought of the little quirks Spock had. The way he looked at Jim with slight exasperation, the way he raised his eyebrow, his accurate down to ten decimal point answers, his way of knowing when something was wrong and lifting Jim back up, his anecdotes, dry humour, kind soul and just _Spock._

 

Lifting himself off the door frame, Jim walks and sits down beside Spock, who starts a little but acknowledges him with nod, and they don't talk, they sit in each other's company and stare out at the New Vulcan landscape.

 

***

 

They were walking back to their adjoined quarters through a barely used passage, having eaten a light dinner together in the canteen, various crew members coming up and wishing him well, and as well as those he'd saved through nearly dying himself. Spock tightens up a little as he mentions that musing to him. They talk of lighter topics, and are getting into a good discussion of 20th century String Theory, ("It's preposterous," exclaims Jim, gesticulating wildly. Spock merely raises an eyebrow, and Jim nearly jumps him) when he heard the familiar growl of Bones and the no-nonsense voice of Uhura coming from round a corner.

 

"I told him not to escape," growled Bones, who sounded like he is dangerously close to snapping. Jim paled with fear to what will happen when Bones gets a hold of him.

 

"You know what Jim is like," soothes Uhura, and just stops Bones from turning the corner, and Jim darts behind Spock, who stiffens in surprise. "He just runs away to prove he can do it." 

 

"Still doesn't make it any less annoying." Bones grumbled, and it sounded like they were much closer, and Jim dares to peek round the corner, dragging Spock with him. Bones and Uhura were standing very close together, and they were staring deep into each other's eyes. Bones was about to say something but before he can Uhura whispers "Shut. Up. Leonard." the last word is like a caress and she leaned up and kissed Bones roughly, and Bones responded with animalistic passion, grabbing her waist and Uhura wound her arms around his shoulders and pressed him back against the wall.

 

Jim ducked back around the corner, and is suddenly aware about how close he and Spock are. Electricity charges the air between them. Spock's pupils dilate and his stone persona melts right off his face and passion lights his eyes. Jim is sure he looks the same way. They lean in. And when Jim thinks they are about to have the sexiest kiss ever, a moan from round the corner interrupted them.

 

They lean back, and Jim exhaled in a frustrated puff. Spock blushes evergreen and then his self-control makes him rigid again. 

 

After this, Jim has no qualms about interrupting Bones' and Uhura's kiss after this. After all, it's not really proper to have sex in the corridor. 

 

Jim strutted around the corner, leaving Spock around the corner, and wolf- whistles extremely loudly and obnoxiously. Bones and Uhura break apart, blushing furiously, and Jim casually leans on the wall. They straighten their uniforms and turn to face him, a grumpy, embarrassed look on Bones' face and a defiant one on Uhura. "So, what do we have here? Oh yes, my Communications Officer and Medical head snogging in a hallway. What is a Captain to do?" He checks his nails, and smiles a genuine smile; he was only winding them up. "But seriously, congrats you guys. I totally knew this was going to happen." Spock comes round the corner, and his face is a perfect model of Vulcan control. Uhura and Bones blush again and Jim has a sunny smile for him, he stands beside Jim, nods his head awkwardly to them and doesn't speak. "Just don't do it again guys. Have sex in your own quarters, when your roommates are out."

 

Bones manages to regain a shred of dignity and said in his usual Georgian growl, "You're comin' with me, Jim-boy, back to the hospital."

 

"No."

 

"Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor! You're injured, do the math!"

 

"I'm not coming back to the hospital unless you want me to tell Chekov a much modified version of events, if you catch my drift."

 

Bones growls and stomps his feet but was dragged away by Uhura, who had for some reason a very knowing look in her eye. Jim turns to Spock with an easy smile and clapped his shoulder, "C'mon, let’s go to the rec-room." They walked there, and sat down on the plush sofa facing the window.

 

Spock seemed tensed, stressed somehow and you wouldn't notice it if you didn't know him. "What's up, Spock?" asked Jim shifting closer to Spock until their legs are touching. He relaxes into the touch, and Spock answered haltingly, "How could you be alright with your husband kissing another woman?" 

 

Jim's jaw dropped and he stared at Spock, his eyes bugging out of his skull, while Spock looks back uncomfortably. When Jim has collected his jaw off the floor, he begins to laugh. 

 

A lot.

 

When he has recovered himself to speak and think, Spock is still looking at him with a slightly offended air. "It was a simple enough question," he began in a monotone.

 

"Oh no, Spock, it's not the question, and it's not you that I'm laughing at, it's the thought that Bones is my husband." Jim chuckles as he said the words, unable to keep them back. "What made you think he was?"

 

"Well," he started again, the offended air fading and the uncomfortable one coming back. "you touched him in an increased degree, you asked in for his opinion multiple times, you always sat next to him at mealtimes and you rely on him to make sure you are not doing something an unfortunate lesser intellect would do."

 

Jim chuckles again, and affectionately half-hugs Spock, which sets butterflies in Jim's stomach at the contact. "That's 'cause he's my best friend, though you come a close second to that, Spock." 

 

"I am glad that I did not have to comfort you in your broken marriage," said Spock dryly, turning his face close to Jim, and suddenly he is breathless. 

 

"Was that humour, Mr. Spock?" asked Jim breathlessly, not forgetting his sarcasm.

 

"I believe it was Jim." that hidden smile is back, lighting his warm brown eyes. They are leaning closer and closer until they are kissing.

 

Jim's head figuratively explodes, and sparks fly. Spock's lips are hot and dry, like the rest of him and he melts against Spock; only his experience keeping his kiss skillful and deft. He traced Spock's pointed ears, and the Vulcan shuddered and deepened the kiss and Jim smiled into that gorgeous mouth, he would remember that turn on. Spock's hands steal around his waist and Jim brushed his hands around the Vulcan's raven hair, tangling his fingers in the silky waves and stroking the back of his neck as the other man's hands go up and down his spine. Jim teases the other man's tongue with his own, and the kiss develops into a heated battle of teeth and tongues, he moans into Spock's mouth, and continues kissing him with the fire of the core of New Vulcan. Jim ran his hands down Spock's chest, feeling the hard planes of his stomach. As Jim's hands tried to undo the zipper of Spock's pants, the Vulcan breaks off the kiss and said with his hair mussed and lips swollen (which had to be the sexiest thing ever seen and Jim would make a point of doing it again), "Jim, please don't-" 

 

Jim's smile was lit with understanding; he would do anything for Spock. Anything. Even if it means waiting for that delicious body, he'd do it. Even though it made him want to stamp his feet like a petulant child (which he was, kind of) he'd do it. He pressed a kiss sweetly to the corner of his Vulcan's mouth and whispers to him, "Anything for you." Spock gazed back, that hidden smile more like a hidden grin, and Jim snuggled into his open arms, and Spock wrapped his arms protectively around Jim, while he rests his head on Spock's chest and Spock rest his head on Jim's. A long yawn dragged his mouth open and the Vulcan's arms tightened around him. 

 

"Sleep, Jim." murmured Spock in a soft tone of voice. Jim let his gaze settle to the night-time scenery, and dreams wove into his waking thoughts and drew him into sleep, but before he is completely out, he heard Spock murmur a word that Jim has never heard before, but it was absolutely beautiful. "T'hy'la."

 

***

 

A cough wakes Jim. _Shit_ was his first thought. _This is going to be hard to explain._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cackles* I'm going to make it hard for these lovebirds!


	7. Angel's Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> catching out, beaming out and freaking out.

Uhura's eyes twinkle as she stares down at Jim and Spock, a devilish smile on her face. Jim swallows nervously, and coughs, while Spock does his best impression of a stone. "Well," Jim begins, colour rising in his face.

 

"What, _Captain_?" she stressed the last word and leaned against the doorframe and checked her nails, as he did last night. "Oh yes, the Ambassador's son, and my Captain sleeping on the sofa together," Is it just Jim's imagination, or is the room getting hotter? "Alone." she grins wolfishly and Jim felt a piece of blackmail coming his way.

 

Jim sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, flashing a glance at Spock, who is staring at Uhura with the same blank expression on his slightly green-tinted face. "What do you want?" he asked Uhura, "There's nothing going on here." the words come out harsher than he intended, so he softened them with a weak smile. 

 

"Nothing, nothing," she singsonged, "I'm just happy I won money off Sulu and Giotto." Uhura almost jumped up and down with excited glee. "Although," she started again, that glint back in her eye, the one that often made him take a step back, the one that she got when she kicked his ass at that bar in Iowa. "You could not tell anyone about me and Leonard in the corridor, 'cause I know you James T. Kirk, and it would be around the ship in a couple of days, and the last thing we need is publicity. So, if I don't tell, you don't tell, got it."

 

"Got it." Jim sighed again, and thought for a brief second, "Wait! What money did you win off Sulu and Giotto?!" his voice rips through several octaves as he realized the implications, half- standing and frozen in the motion of doing so, his mouth hanging open.

 

Uhura was walking away, and down the hallway, Jim heard Uhura yell back, "You don't exactly make it hard to see!"

 

'Damn," Jim said as he flopped back down on to the sofa, pushing his head into the cushions as he did so, "Was it that obvious?" he closed his eyes once more and rubbed at the most recent scar on his arm.

 

He can imagine the amused look in Spock's eye as he replied. "Yes, Jim. You were quite obvious in your affections towards me, but since I am unschooled in the ways of Humans, I found it more tactful to wait." A hand tentatively touched Jim's; and he reached towards it blind, and grasped it unthinkingly. He smirked as he remembered that Vulcan hands were very sensitive to touch, and he ran a finger down Spock's palm provocatively and felt the Vulcan shudder in response. Jim ran his fingers over the Vulcan's in feather light caresses and was startled by Spock's lips pressed roughly against his. He kissed back and knotted the fingers of his free hand into Spock's hair, smiling into the kiss, as he grabbed the back of the other man's head and deepened the kiss. They broke apart, panting, and Jim saw Spock's Vulcan demeanour falter slightly, and the lust and love showed through, and then it was gone, schooled into a neutral expression. Jim lamented the loss of emotion of his face. He sighed once more, and jumped to his feet, checking his chronometer, it was seven hundred and ten hours, and they were late for breakfast, "C'mon Spock, we're late for breakfast."

 

***

 

He and Spock sat at a breakfast table together, along with Bones, Uhura (who were steadily avoiding one another's gaze) Sulu and Chekov, who were being sickeningly sweet and romantic in a way that made Jim pretend to be sick when they weren't looking. This made Bones chuckle, Uhura roll her eyes and Spock raise his eyebrow questioningly. Between doing this, however, he spent the time waxing lyrical about his ship and chattering on to Spock for about twenty minutes non- stop, forgetting to eat as he gesticulated wildly while explaining his ship in immense detail. Spock looked especially interested when Jim mentioned the science labs aboard the Enterprise. "Would you be willing to take me up there, to the Enterprise?" If there was emotion in Spock's voice, Jim didn't hear it. 

 

"Sure, why not?" the question was rhetorical, and Jim continued, picking at his breakfast with a spoon, "Just get Sarek's permission first. If I don't he's liable to stick me up on a pike with a blankly disapproving expression." he smiled, and Bones choked on his food, and had to be hit on the back repeatedly by Uhura, who looked as if she was holding back giggles herself. "I'm on skeleton duty today, and it's supposed to be quiet, so I'll show you around the ship, and the labs." 

 

The Vulcan looked slightly triumphant and said, "Of course, Jim." and went back to eating his bright blue fruit, which to Jim looked slightly nauseating.

 

A couple of hours later, having gained Sarek's permission, albeit disapproving and grave, (seriously, they should lighten up, drink some chocolate or something, Jim reflected.) they found themselves in the capsule room which Jim had materialized in, and standing in the spot, waiting to be beamed up by the crewman aboard the Enterprise. "Energize." said Jim forcefully into his communicator, and the halos of light surrounding them and picking their atoms and swirling them to the Enterprise in orbit. Spock looked slightly disorientated, and Jim patted his arm, "It takes a lot of getting used to, don't worry about it." 

 

"Sir." the Ensign snapped to attention behind the transporter module, and saluted, unable to keep his curious looks from the Vulcan standing at Jim's shoulder. Spock had straightened and his neutral expression had taken over once more.

 

Jim breathed in the recycled air and gave a warm smile, "At ease, Ensign." the man relaxed immediately, leaning on his hands on the module and waiting for orders. Jim had no idea who this man was, or what shift he was on, but he vaguely recognized him from seeing him on the planet below, so he gave it a shot. "Continue with your duties, Ensign."

 

"Sir." the Ensign turned and walked down the hallway.

 

Grinning at Spock, who was now looking around the room with interest, Jim nearly, jumped up and down, "Come on Spock!" We've got a ship to see." 

 

***

 

"And this is the Bridge." Jim finished the tour with a flourish, theatrically bowing to Spock as they exited the turbolift, having just walked round the entire ship. The crew manning the Bridge turned round for a second, and then turned back to their work, one or two of then giving Jim indulgent smiles, they were all used to Jim exaggerating everything. The Bridge was a spotless white, the other colours given out by the computers as the crew worked diligently, and the void of space and pinpricks of stars shining out into the vacuum and Jim had never felt more alive than when he did right then. His ship content, Spock by his side, crew working well and space unfolding about them like a map. Spock had enjoyed the tour, for as much as Jim could see, and the science labs seemed to be everything Spock had dreamed and more. His eyes had lit up, and he skirted around the room with an unholy glee, and looked over experiments, voicing compliments and criticisms as was his wont. They also had spent some time making out in a deserted corridor, and had started guiltily at every little sound that ran through the ship (well, Spock had, Jim just didn't care). Anyways they walked up to the Command chair at the centre of the Bridge. 

 

"Indeed." intoned Spock, whose eyes are once more lit up in a hidden smile and Jim sits down in the chair, and smiles up at Spock, who managed to twitch his lips in response. 

 

 

"There's the science station over there if you want to check it out." Jim gazed at Spock warmly, and Spock walked quickly over, his hands still locked around his back as he sat down and started to observe the measurements and readings from the past few weeks. Looking over at Spock from one last time, he picked up a report PADD and reluctantly began to catch up on all the work he'd missed. He'd just finished the first report, and started on the next one, when a soft bleeping noise from one of the computers interrupted his train of thought, and made Spock look across to him. Jim shook his head, signalling that it probably wasn't important, and angled his face back down to the report he was working on. A few minutes later, however, the bleeping noise came again from the radar corner of the Bridge. Stifling his irritation, Jim asked the crew member what was going on. "Sir, something's coming up on our radar, it's fading in and out of sensor range, but it's definitely coming closer." her voice was calm, but Jim could see the worry in her eyes. The woman looked fresh out of Starfleet Academy. He was over to the woman's side in an instant, and Jim felt Spock's eyes locked on him with an unnerving intensity. 

 

"Calm down," Jim soothed gently, and the lieutenant looked slightly reassured. He checked the screen, and indeed there was a blip on the sensor coming closer and closer to the Enterprise. There was something about it that Jim didn't like. "Right," Jim barked, and attracted the attention of the whole Bridge, he straightened and looked around, "There's an un-identified object too close for my liking. We're going to contact New Vulcan and tell them to raise their shields as a precaution." He kept his voice deliberately calm as not to worry them, but with several crew members who often worked on the Bridge with him, didn't believe his calm facade for a second. The officer in charge of communications was talking quickly into his head-set and then told Jim, "They've raised shields to max, Captain, and are on full alert."

 

Spock was at his side in a moment, and stood behind the Command chair and watched Jim while he paced. "What is happening, Jim."

 

"I'm so sorry to have gotten you into this Spock," Jim gripped his Vulcan's forearm, and continued, "but the shape on the computer looks like a Romulan Warbird." Spock stiffened his eyes going hard, and Jim felt his heart break a little, yet he continued to talk quickly and calmly. "I'm sorry, but you won't be able to beam down, but I promise to keep you safe, go sit back down." Spock did as he was told, and stared out of the viewscreen, into space. Jim sat down on the Command chair, and issued orders to his sparse crew. "Sensors on max, check out the vessel. Communications hail them. Shields one hundred percent. Ready phasers to fire." he drifted his hand down to his hip, checking that his phaser was still sitting there. It was. The crew scrambled to carry out his orders, and he sent a ship wide broadcast in a clipped tone hitting the red alert at his side and it roared through the ship, "We have an un- identified object nearing us and not responding to hailing. Be ready for attack, and battle positions." He turned to his Bridge crew. "What's the situation?" 

 

"Non- responsive to hail."

 

"Phasers ready."

 

"Shields at full capacity."

 

"Definitely a Warbird, sir." 

 

"Lock on phasers and continue hailing." Ordered Jim in a tone completely opposite to his normal one. The next few minutes were spent in grave silence; the atmosphere on the Bridge could've been cut with a knife. Spock was sending glances towards Jim, and he flashed back a few reassuring looks, and then continued to grill his crew about the situation of the vessel. Other than that, the Bridge was silent, apart from the tapping on screens and the bleeping noise growing louder as the Warbird grew closer. 

 

"Hailing us, Captain!" yelled the officer in Communications, and made Jim jump out of his skin.

 

"Put it on the screen." commanded Jim and settled back in the chair, and glared at the viewscreen. The face that appeared there was oddly familiar, and then it clicked. "Captain Geillum." Jim said hoarsely, his glare growing in intensity.

 

Geillum smiled nastily. "We meet again, Captain Kirk. How odd that it should be here." 

 

 

"Not at all odd. We are working with the Vulcans." 

 

"And we are here to destroy the Vulcans, to get rid of those vermin who share our blood, once and for all." Spock stiffened, and Jim swore his glare grew murderous. _Keep it together, Spock._ Jim silently begged to the Vulcan.

 

"Well, that's a shame for you, because this planet is protected, and not just by us." Jim glared at him defiantly, and curled his lip, daring them to hurt Vulcan, at their utmost peril. 

 

Geillum examined his nails, and said caustically "Well, perhaps your little Vulcan pet can tell us about this _protection_ " the last word was sneered and all the eyes flashed tensely to Spock, who had stiffened further, and looked at Geillum straight in the eye, still not speaking.

 

"He won't."

 

"Maybe with a little persuasion he will."

 

"He won't."

 

"You'll be surprised how torture can loosen the strongest tongue, Captain." Jim had just began to reply, when transporter lights swirled around Spock, and the Bridge crew froze staring at him. Spock drew himself up and glared at Geillum, his look proud and regal. Then as soon as it had begun, Spock vanished. "Well, Captain Kirk, goodbye." For a moment, all was silent on the Bridge.

 

Jim couldn't believe it.

 

Spock gone. 

 

A void opened in Jim, and yawned so wide that he threatened to tip over into it. Then, a red haze covered Jim's vision, as he got angry. 

 

 

Now, Jim didn't often get angry, but when he did, he got _furious_. Like, tree- ripping down angry.

 

The Bridge chatter started up again, and Jim couldn't hear a thing over the roar of his anger. He shouted orders to his crew over the roar. "Be ready to transport me out on my command. Lock phasers on the Warbird. Any threatening moves from it, warn me, and then blast it up of the sky." He stood and turned on his heel, the shocked gazes of his crew warming his back. He didn't care. His anger was as righteous as any angel's. He sprinted to the transporter room, set his phaser to stun, plugged the co-ordinates into the module and pressed the button. The beams whirled around him, but Jim could hardly see. 

 

_Get Spock, get Spock, get Spock_ was the only thought flying around his brain.

 

 

He materialized on top of a Romulan. The dazed man hit the ground with a thunk, and stared up at Jim with wonder in his eyes. "You look like an angel." the words quivered, and Jim was sure the Romulan would remember nothing of this in the morning. 

 

"Yeah, an angel with a shotgun." He snarled back, shooting the Romulan and the other man was unconscious. Jim continued through the ship, it's hallways a dark green, with neon green stripes running through the centre. Any Romulan he saw, he shot with a stun blast, and they fell without a sound. He turned a corner, and came face-to-face with a very surprised Romulan, who then punched him in the face. Warm, copper blood flowed from a split lip, and Jim's vision flared red again, as he kicked the Romulan in the groin, and shot him with the phaser. he ducked into an alcove, and focused hard. A niggling sense of knowing flooded through Jim, and he followed it through twists and turns, until he heard gruff voices, and the sound of fists meeting flesh. 

 

Jim peered around the corner, and saw green blood trickling from a cut above Spock's eyebrow, and from his nose. Anger roared harder, and Jim couldn't help himself.

 

He roared as he turned the corner, shooting accurate shots at the five heavy set guards that stood around Geillum. They all dropped to the ground weapons rolling from their lax grip. Spock turned quickly, and looked surprised. Geillum was also surprised, but grabbed a weapon and tilted Spock's head back, pressing the weapon against his throat. Jim curled his mouth in a snarl, but slowed down his approach and lowered his weapon. "This is a surprise." said Geillum to Jim, a calculating look in his eyes. The full force of his murderous rage focused on Geillum. 

 

He should be afraid. 

 

"It shouldn't be." Jim spat at him, still holding so tightly on his phaser that his knuckles were white. 

 

"This is an act of war, Kirk, you invading my ship." the gun pressed harder to Spock's throat, but Spock's expression was unchanged. 

 

"It was an act of war taking Spock." 

 

"But, Kirk, before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for." the calculating gaze was back. 

 

"I fight on the behalf of the Vulcans," Jim replied raising his chin, and meeting the eyes of the other Captain.

 

"You're not a soldier."

 

"If that is what they need, then a soldier I will be." Spock's eyes flashed with respect, and some other emotion that Jim couldn't name. 

 

"The war has begun, Captain."

 

"Then I will fight until this war is won." 

 

Geillum sniffed in disgust, and removed the weapon from Spock's throat, and dropped it to the floor. Astonished, Jim stared at the Romulan. "We'll settle this at a later date, Kirk and be warned, this war has begun." he repeated and he began to walk away. Jim collected his jaw off the floor to shoot at his back, and floored him with a stun blast. He felt a tiny shred of guilt, but thought of what Geillum could do to the Enterprise, and hardened his heart.

 

Spock seemed too amazed by Jim's arrival too comprehend the fact that Jim was untying the restraints around his wrists and ankles. "C'mon, Spock," Jim said gently, pulling the Vulcan up and sliding an arm around his waist to support him. 

 

"Why did you come?" asked Spock quietly, looking down at Jim through dazed eyes as they hobbled as fast through the unfamiliar ship as they could. 

 

Jim was startled by the question. "Because I would never leave anyone behind, that's why." _also I love you._

 

"I'm glad you did," replied Spock, very quietly, and leaned on Jim more. They reached the place where he'd beamed in and he contacted the Enterprise and told them to get ready to beam two aboard. 

 

Just before they beamed out, Jim nuzzled Spock's neck and said softly, "I'd throw my faith away, Spock, just to see you safe." Spock looked at him, startled by the words. 

 

Jim didn't look at him.

 

"Energize."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank-you for all the responses and kudos! I'm glad that you like it so much, and also, shameless quoting from angel with a shotgun!


	8. 'Maybe It Might Work' Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bones knows too much, Jim wakes up to a surprise, Spock has an inferiority complex, and an alarm gets raised.

For two weeks after the fateful Romulan incident, all had been quiet on said front, but Spock refused to talk to Jim. He didn't make eye contact with Jim when he politely and stiffly declined the chess matches that had become a daily routine for both of them. He again sat alone in the mess hall, his nose buried once again in a PADD, while Jim looked forlornly towards Spock, until Bones hit him with his elbow and growled at him for staring. Spock called him Captain whenever they were forced to interact. On the days they did manual labour, Spock ignored him and answered the questions that he compelled to answer with a cool and detached air and the veil behind his eyes that had always been open to Jim, it seemed, was closed to him, and the Vulcan's emotions were impossible for Jim to tell.

 

It was driving him mad.

 

If there was one thing James T. Kirk was known for, it was persistence when he wanted something. It worked with the Enterprise, it worked with his Starfleet training, it worked when he wanted his dad's car to stay his.

 

Sooner or later, it would work on Spock. He just had to keep trying.

 

So, Jim kept inviting him to play chess and hang out, and every time Spock refused him with that same removed air, it just made him more determined to succeed. Some might call that stubbornness, or even idiocy, but Jim was inclined to believe it was the determination. 

 

But when Bones pulled him out of his quarters when he was doing reports, about a week into the forced separation, and sat him down in an empty rec- room and drawled "Ya got it bad, don't you," Jim panicked and tried to play dumb. 

 

"What are you talking about Bones? I was writing a report to Starfleet for the Romulan threat." (Jim had tried not to think about their reaction. It wouldn't be good.) he tried the annoyed and confused expression, while tapping his fingers against the faded arm of the sofa, a bit to quickly to be an unconscious movement, and Bones caught it. 

 

Bones raised his eyebrows skeptically. "For that pointy-ear hobgoblin, that ya always starin' at in the mess hall, an' in fact whenever you see him."

 

"Oh, you mean Spock. We're just friends." 

 

"Yeah, just friends my ass. Ya got it bad, kid."

 

Jim went on the defensive. "In the same way that you and Uhura are 'just friends' then?" a bit below the belt he knew, but true all the same, he crossed his arms and looked hard at Bones, who flushed beet red. 

 

"That's not what we're talkin' about." 

 

"But I think it should be what we're talking about." Jim grinned challengingly, daring Bones to continue talking. 

 

 

"Fine, fine," Bones ran a hand over his face, trying to cool it, and held one hand up in defeat, "just promise me y'all be alright Jim, 'cause however much you annoy me, I don't what to see you get hurt."

 

Jim softened, and slapped the doctor's shoulder. "Don't worry Bones, I'm Jim Kirk remember, I don't get hurt. And, go get Uhura, she wants you." Jim had indeed seen Uhura looking fixedly at Bones, only to turn and blush when he looked back, and Jim wanted Bones to be happy. 

 

The doctor grumbled and half-smiled and Jim grinned back vibrantly getting up and walking the direction of his desk and the reports that waited on it, after him, Bones called: "Ya need to come in for a check-up soon!"

 

Swiveling around to lean on the door frame, Jim pouted and said pleadingly "Let me off, just this once... Please?"

 

Bones snorted indelicately. "No way."

 

Straightening, Jim smirked with a mischievous glint in his eye. "I could pull rank on you."

 

"How many times have we had this conversation," the good doctor sighed in exasperation, "you know what comes next. I'll use Medical protocol and declare you unfit for duty."

 

Jim replied flirtatiously, his face in a sultry expression. "I'm always fit enough for my _duty_."

 

Scowling, Bones growled, "Away with you! Before I have to punch you to reassert some dominance."

 

He flounced off, laughing as he left the rec-room and continued back to his quarters with a bounce in his step. 

 

What Jim didn't see, though, was Spock, standing around the corner, having heard only the last part of the conversation and the Vulcan looked stricken.

 

***

 

Jim rolled over in his small bed, the sounds of the New Vulcan night coming through the open window, and thought of Spock, as he had been doing with increasing frequency over the past two weeks, as every sight of the Vulcan drove him crazy with want, and also shoved another tiny crack through his heart. This also helped take his mind off the horrific call from Starfleet Command.

 

Jim ran to his ready room, and sat on the bench facing the viewscreen, and straightened his uniform, feeling that this wasn't going to be fun. Communications had just told him that Starfleet Command was calling. As Jim finished tidying up his uniform, Admiral Ku-long's face appeared on the viewscreen, looking stormy.

 

Uh-oh.

 

He inclined his head to the Admiral, Jim greeted him. "Admiral Ku-long."

 

"Captain Kirk." The words were brittle and the Admiral's face looked like he was barely keeping his emotions in restraint.

 

Going on the bold route, as was his norm, the Captain started brusquely. "I assume this call is about the report of the Romulan incident in the space surrounding New Vulcan."

 

"It is, Kirk."

 

Gazing steadily at him, Jim waited for him to continue, which he did. "What were you doing inciting war, Kirk?" the Admiral hissed, his eyes flashing with rage.

 

Still, though, Jim replied steadily, enunciating each word so his temper didn't snap. "I did not 'incite' war as you put it, Admiral, merely rescuing a Vulcan that had been taken."

 

"If you did not realize, Kirk, that is an act of war, invading a Romulan ship." That was it. Jim's hold on his temper went out the window.

 

"It was also an act of war trespassing in Federation space, kidnapping the _Ambassador's_ son, and declaring war on the Vulcans _sir_. I was defending New Vulcan, sir, and I was protecting it and them, not tip-toeing around the Romulans." snapped Jim at his superior, listing each reason on his fingers as he looked Ku-long in the eye without flinching.

 

The Admiral was red in the face, and had a vein coming out of his forehead, but Jim could see that he had won the argument. "Very well," it sounded like Ku-long was trying very hard to keep his temper. "The Romulans are at fault here. It was an act of war." He could see that the Admiral wanted to blame him, but Ku-long was a reasonable man and could see the sense in what he was saying. "If you need help defending New Vulcan, send a message. Admiral Ku-long out." the viewscreen turned off and Jim let out a shaky breath. He needed to hit something. 

 

Jim had then spent the next four hours in the newly completed gym, punching and kicking things to work his anger out. They'd had the Spock, for fuck's sake, was he meant to let Spock die? He'd then collapsed in bed, exhausted physically, but the cogs in his mind kept turning. _At least it wasn't that bastard Nogura, he'd try and find some evidence that_ I'd _destroyed Vulcan._ Jim thought sullenly, turning over once again. 

 

Swinging his mind back to Spock, Jim let thoughts of the enigmatic Vulcan lull him to sleep.

 

***

 

Tonight's nightmare was again about Tarsus IV, the dust and the dirt and the desperation of it all. The boy he couldn't save, coughing and coughing until he died. Jim couldn't bury him. He was too weak. The boy had to be left there, in the place were he fell. Amy, his little cousin whispering to him in the sorting lines, "Am I gunna die?" Jim had held her comfortingly and replied, "No, I won't let you." 

 

He'd been wrong. He'd been wrong. 

 

She'd died, trusting him not to let it happen, and she'd fallen to the mass grave, her beautiful green eyes blank and lifeless, her brown hair bloodied. 

 

He'd woken up with tear tracks down his face, his throat hoarse from shouting, and Spock standing over him with a hand shaking his should, loudly saying, "Jim! Jim! Wake up!" the man in question had blinked sleepily at Spock, never quite throwing sleep, or the horror of his nightmare completely off him. 

 

"Spock," slurred Jim sleepily, "wha you doing in here?"

 

"I heard you shouting so I came in here through the shared bathroom." Spock sat down on the edge of the bed, angling his body to block the doors from Jim's sightline. Spock's voice softened, and it made Jim relax, and in his half-asleep state made answering the question so much easier. "Who is Amy?"

 

"My cousin. She died on Tarsus IV, while I watched." the words slipped out into the dark silence of the night. Spock stiffened, but as he spoke his voice was as soft as before.

 

"Now that I have seen you are alright, I should leave." he made to get up, and it filled Jim with a sleepy sort of fear. 

 

His hand grasped Spock's wrist, and held on with the most tenuous of sleepy grips. "Please stay. The nightmare will come back."

 

"I am sure it--"

 

"Please." the word was pleading and pathetic, Jim's eyes were open fully and he stared at Spock, silently begging, still half-asleep. 

 

The Vulcan stared back, astonished, but relented, and it was easier than Jim expected. Spock laid down in the small single bed, rigid, and as far away from Jim as he could get. Jim however, had other plans. He cuddled up to Spock's side, and pushed his head into the juncture of the Vulcan's head and neck, and Spock froze. Sleepiness gave Jim courage though, as the Human let out a happy sigh and relaxed into the other man, his breathing becoming deep and even very quickly. Just before he slipped completely into sleep, though, he felt Spock loosen up, and turn to wrap his arms around Jim, while saying "Sleep well, ashayam."

 

***

 

He woke up sweltering. That was the first thing Jim noticed, but coming in a very close second, was the purring (Vulcans _purred_?!), sleeping Vulcan wrapped around him and Jim's legs entangled with Spock's. Not to say that Jim in any way minded about this turn of events. Basking in the moment of being in the middle of awake and asleep, he curled deeper into Spock's embrace, resting his head on the Vulcan's chest, and waking up slowly and comfortably. But, he couldn't help but wonder _how_ this had happened. Suddenly, it clicked.

 

Oh.

 

He'd told Spock about Tarsus IV. For one of the first times in his life, Jim had no idea what he was going to say. Not giving himself time to prepare anything, Spock deserved the truth (however hard it may be to tell), he shook the arm caging him in a protective cradle, murmuring, "Spock, Spock, wake- up." The Vulcan woke, his eyes bleary and his body pliant, and Jim leaned up on one elbow, and looked down at Spock. Jim's stomach did flip-flops. He was gorgeous first thing in the morning, his hair ruffled adorably, his long body relaxed and his brown eyes gentle. Then he realized where he was, and he tensed, warily focusing his eyes on Jim. "Easy, easy, Spock," he murmured his eyes crinkling in a smile. The Vulcan untensed slightly, still looking up at him.

 

"Hi," Jim said quietly, his mouth curving in a smile, wanting to brush a lock of raven hair off Spock's forehead, but not daring to, the man looked tense enough already.

 

"Good morning." was spoken just as quietly, and Spock abruptly stood, startling Jim and hurting his feelings slightly. 

 

"Wait Spock," Jim grasped his hand and pulled Spock, whose face was as blank as a river stone, back around to face him. Ignoring the splinter that drove into his heart, and went straight to the question he'd been dying to ask for two weeks. "why are you avoiding me?"

 

The Vulcan dropped back onto the bed and looked at Jim with pain in his eyes, and Jim wanted to make it better, to take away the pain, but he had to continue, for his sanity's sake. "Yes please." he took one of Spock's hands and tried to broadcast soothing and sympathy.

 

The Vulcan sighed, and turned his head away, and let his hair fall to shield his face, a very Human gesture. "I am half-human." Jim was surprised, slightly irritated that this was standing in their way, but not angry. When he considered it, it made sense. All the little lapses in control made sense, him eating alone in the mess made sense. Spock continued hurriedly, not giving Jim time to say anything. "My mother was Amanda Grayson. She died when Vulcan imploded." Jim squeezed his forearm in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. "She married my father to show good will between my species. Due to this, I am not good enough for you." he said the words so logically, and so simply, that Jim might've believed him, if disbelief wasn't howling through him at this point.

 

Twisting Spock harshly round to face him, Jim brought them nose- to- nose. He hissed at Spock, his eyes blazing with anger, "Don't. You. Dare say that you aren't good enough for me! Your genetics will never change how I feel about you! They never could!" Spock looked slightly dazed at this outpouring of good opinion about him, and Jim looked Spock straight in the eyes. "You. Are. Perfect. The. Way. You. Are! It's a cliche, but it's true!" He prodded his index finger into Spock's chest, in time with his words. He went on roughly as he realized how close their faces were. "You are too good for me! Not the other way around! When I first met you I was surprised that you gave me a second glance-- mmnph!" The end of his sentence finished abruptly as Spock pressed their lips together, and Jim kissed back. Electricity surged between the points of contact, and Jim had to get closer. He straddled Spock, and tangled his fingers into the raven hair, and Spock wound his arms about Jim's waist, locking them together, and Jim moaned into the kiss, and he felt himself becoming hard. The fire between them had grown, and Jim had to do something, get closer, get deeper, or wrap his hands around Spock's--

 

The red alarm sounded.

 

Caught off guard, Jim broke away from Spock, panting heavily, and saw that Spock was in much the same state, lust clouding over his intelligent eyes. Jim groaned and got off Spock's lap reluctantly. "Talk about crap timing." Jim smiled over at Spock, the alarm wailing around them. 

 

Surprisingly, Spock responded with a somewhat breathless "Indeed." and a twitch of his lips towards a smile. Straightening his uniform, and running a hand through his hair, and willing away (somewhat successfully) his erection, Jim offered a hand, which the Vulcan promptly took, and opened the door to Jim's quarters. Outside, there was a lot of confused Vulcans milling about, and when Spock and Jim stepped through the door, they all focused on them. Jim prayed to whatever deity there was that they couldn't see on them what they had just been doing. 

 

Checking that Spock was still at his right shoulder, Jim began to run towards the capsule on the side of the dorm building. Spock kept up with ease.

 

Jim had a feeling that this would be an interesting day (if 'interesting' is what you want to call it).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF AND ANGST EXPLOSION! I promise some smut will come down the line in the next chapter. Again, thanks for all the support this story has gained!! By the way, 'ashayam' means beloved. Sorry about the slow update, school's been a bitch. Also, constructive criticism would be useful!


	9. Prime Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> directing, communicating and melding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ever so slight smut, you might want to skip this chapter f you don't like that
> 
>  
> 
> once again, i own nothing bar my typos, of which i can assure you there are many

They arrived in the capsule at the side of the dorm building, Jim out of breath, and Spock unruffled, not a hair out of place. _Damn him._ he thought enviously as he stared at the Vulcan's immaculate attire and normal coloured face. Jim was brushing himself down (for the second time in ten minutes, might he add) and finger- combing his unruly hair into some sort of semblance of decency and Scotty came rushing up to him, slight panic in his eyes. "Cap'in!" he panted, "We got ourselves an attacker!" Activity buzzed around them, all the people tapping on computer screens and voices ringing with statistics and statuses to whoever might be listening. The atmosphere was tense, and the Vulcan high council was entering behind Jim and Spock. 

 

Nodding his head towards the high council, Jim turned back to Scotty and asked, "Who's attacking?" The Vulcans in the high council tensed almost imperceptively, and Spock flicked his eyes to them, and them back to Scotty. 

 

"I dinnae know, sir. They're cloaking an' only coming uncloaked for a second before cloaking again." Jim swore and rubbed his head against his hand. 

 

"Invisibility is a theoretical possibility, Jim, to bend beams of light around an object would cause it to be invisible." Came the cool voice of Spock, and he distractedly nodded again, trying to think of ways to combat an enemy they couldn't see. Jim's thought train went a mile a second, jumping from one tactical plan to the other, and then discarding it when he realized that it wouldn't work. He began to think aloud, voicing his thoughts quickly to be sure they wouldn't work. "Find the space blanked with no stars, shoot at it. No, no wouldn't work. Too vague. Trace the warp signature to were it dropped out, and try to guess the moves from classical moves from different species. Make a fair guess that it is the Romulans. The exhaust gases, find those, find the ship. No, cloaked too, at a guess. Is the ship still visible to sensors?" Jim began to pace quickly, and everybody followed his moves. Sarek remained silent, and Spock as well. Jim whipped around to Scotty and asked, "Is the ship still visible to sensors?"

 

"I-I guess Cap'in." replied Scotty, twisting his screwdriver around in his hands. Jim's eyes lit with triumph and he let loose a razor-sharp smile. The Vulcans eyed him slightly warily, but the Elder Selek just furrowed his eyebrows. Jim felt a light tickling sensation in the back of his mind, and a hand automatically flew to itch the back of his head. The sensation stopped immediately. Noting Selek's expression, he resolved to ask the old Vulcan what was going on with him. 

 

"Let's see if we can't discourage it from the planet, eh?" He turned once more to Scotty, "Can you beam me up, Scotty?" 

 

"I can't Cap'in, the shields are up around the planet to one hundred percent."

 

Jim swore again, ruffling his hair in agitation, and he caught Spock's eyes following the movement. The chatter of the capsule hadn't decreased a bit, and in fact, the noise had grown with the bleep of computers and the talk of strategy. "What do you propose, Captain?" intoned Sarek.

 

"I bet it's the good Captain Geillum. I'm going to see if I can't capture the ship." Jim told Sarek, and the rest of the high council, who were all listening with interest. Spock still stood close to Jim, and now he took a calm step back. He puzzled over this, until he saw the slight fear in Spock's eyes. _Ah._ Jim thought, remembering that Spock had been captured by the Romulans just a few short weeks ago. "But you cannot be on the Enterprise." stated one of the other Vulcans, and he almost shot a glare at the guy, and almost snapped sarcastically _Thanks for the input._

 

"No, but I can direct my crew from the communicators." Jim looked to Scotty in askance, and the man in question nodded rapidly and he took is communicator in hand. 

 

"Very well." said the Vulcan in a monotone, and he swore that a stone had more expressions than the guy. Just as he was about to flip open the communicator, Bones and Uhura crashed through the doors, the chatter lulling for a second before picking up with renewed vigor, and he saw that they both looked distinctly disheveled, and as Bones turned his head to see him, Jim thought he caught a glance of a bruise-was that a _love bite?_ on his neck. _Bones you sly dog,_ he thought, and gave them both a knowing smile, and Bones blushed furiously. Uhura, however, just raised an elegant eyebrow, and gave him a look that plainly said _I dare you to comment_ and Jim winced as he remembered the blackmail. Jeez, that woman was going places. He realized he'd been staring, and everybody else in turn had been staring at him. Jim cleared his throat, and turned his attention to the problem at hand.

 

Flipping open his communicator, Jim pressed the button and called his ship. "Kirk to Enterprise, Kirk to Enterprise." The rest of the capsule fell silent as all the attention focused on him. Sulu was looking at him with wide, scared eyes, and Jim figured Chekov must be on the ship. Jim listened intently to it, and Spock once again stepped closer.

 

A voice crackled through the speaker. "Receiving you, Captain." It echoed around the suddenly silent room. Jim breathed an internal sigh of relief, it was Regan, and even if Jim hated him, he was good in situations like this.

 

"What's your status, Commander?"

 

"The Warbird is shadowing our moves, and it's cloaked. The sensors are tracking it." The reply was short and terse, just like Regan himself. 

 

 

"Can you get a lock on it?"

 

 

"Not easily, Captain." 

 

"Who's manning the helm?" Jim began to pace again, and all eyes followed once more. Bones and Uhura were watching him nervously, like he was going to explode any second, and to be honest, Jim felt like he was going to. The Vulcans were impassive as always, including Spock, but Jim could sense his worry in the back of his mind. The thought almost brought Jim to a halt. He could sense Spock's _emotions?_ Jim put that down into the 'freak out about later' pile, and got his mind back on task. 

 

"Chekov." The answer was broken in the middle, and Jim had to bend his head to hear it. 

 

 

"Ask him."

 

"Why?"

 

"Just do it, Commander!" Jim ground his teeth together, this was no time for Regan's problems with him. This was going to be talked about later between them. In detail.

 

He heard the echo of the question and a ghost of Chekov's answer, "I can do zat!" down the line. Jim let a flash of a smile go across his face at Chekov's antics and saw Uhura and Sulu smiling fondly at the communicator. The Vulcans looked on, slightly disapproving of the show of emotions. "He can do it," Regan confirmed, and a smile broke out on Jim face like a parting of the clouds after a storm.

 

"Great. Stay still. Stop moving entirely, let it seem like we've given up searching for them." he ordered.

 

 

"Are you sure that's wise?" 

 

"Just do it!" Jim narrowed his eyes at the communicator, plan already fully formed in his mind, and paced more rapidly. 

 

"Done."

 

"Is the Warbird still shadowing you?" 

 

"Yes. Stopped approximately one thousand kilometres from the Enterprise." 

 

Jim blew out a breath, and said quickly, "Not one move until I give the word."

 

"Very well." a few minutes of tense silence followed, and Jim tapped his foot up and down, and something wound through his anxiety riddled brain, calming and soothing him, and allowing him to think more clearly. He started, and looked around the room, towards the Vulcans, because it had to be a Vulcan, because Humans were a psi-null race. None of the Vulcans gave anything away, standing or sitting with blank, focused faces that looked towards him. 

 

"Right, lock on phasers to the Warbird, be as discreet as you can, and aim for the engines, weapons, disable them entirely. Do. Not. Kill. Them." He enunciated each word carefully, being very clear on the last words. He would not see innocent people murdered on his watch. The Geillum and the guards, though, had to answer to their crimes.

 

"Locking on phasers now." 

 

"Have they noticed?"

 

"No, not yet."

 

"When you hit them, lock them in the strongest level of tractor beam we have." Jim stopped pacing and tensed. This was the defining moment of the plan. The sound of phaser fire crackled through the communicator. The tension in the room grew fraught. "Report, Commander!"

 

"Direct hits, the Romulans are incapacitated. The tractor beam has them immobile." Cheering broke out across the room, from the Humans at least, but the Vulcans visibly relaxed. Jim grinned happily at Spock and Bones, but knew at the same time that this was far from over. Spock walked over to him and placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder, and spoke quietly to him admidst the cheering, "Well done, Jim." Turning slightly to face Spock, Jim gave him a fond, equally quiet smile. 

 

"It's nothing." this exchange went unnoticed by everyone, apart from sharp- eyed Selek, who looked almost indulgent. Giving Spock one last look, Jim turned back to everyone, and called, "Settle down! It's not over yet." the room became still again, and all eyes focused on him once more. Speaking into his communicator again, "Hail the Romulans, and channel it down to here."

 

"Yes, Captain." answered Regan. Jim strode to the solitary viewscreen, and stood before it, the high council following him as one and Spock standing outside the viewscreen's sight line, but still close. The screen popped and whirred as the face of everyone's favorite Romulan came up to the viewscreen. "Good morning, Geillum. How are you this fine day?" 

 

The Romulan's eyes flashed with something akin to murderous rage, which just made Jim smile toothily all the more. "Very well, Kirk." He ground out. 

 

"Would you like to tell us what you're doing here?"

 

"No." The Captain's voice was harsh, very unlike the supple smoothness it had been before. 

 

"I don't care if you do, just tell us."

 

"No." this strangely reminded Jim of the cat- thing debacle, and the argument he'd had with Spock about leaving him. He dragged his mind back. Before he could speak again however, Sarek spoke to Geillum from Jim's right side. "What is the issue you hold with the Vulcan race?"

 

"Your existence." the other Captain snarled at Sarek, and Jim saw Spock's eyes flash dangerously. "And how's your son doing by the way? All recovered?" he spat out.

 

"He is recovered." replied Sarek in a monotone, but Jim saw his fists tighten. "What is it about our existence that moves you so?" 

 

"Your weakness, to not use your strength, for not following our ancestors' old ways!" He was referencing the Romulans and Vulcans shared ancestry. Jim snorted softly. He preferred the Vulcans, thank-you very much. Selek shot him a warning glance. 

 

"Is this why you tried to destroy us?"

 

"No. And wouldn't you like to know the reason."

 

Jumping into the conversation, and break the tense staring contest between Sarek and Geillum, he said "Tell us why." Jim almost growled, and felt a feeling of pride echo from the back of his mind.

 

"No." Geillum looked calculatingly at Jim, and he looked the other Captain straight in the eye. "But, I might tell you that maybe you don't know your precious Starfleet as well as you think you do." With those parting words sending a trickle of ice down Jim's spine, the other Captain signed off, leaving a deathly silence in the room. Breaking away from the screen, he gestured for Spock to follow him over to Scotty.

 

"How long do you think it'll take for them to fix the Warbird?"

 

Scotty scratched his head thoughtfully, and responded "I think a couple of days, with the damage they sustained."

 

"Very good, Scotty. Let's leave them to stew." 

 

***

 

Jim wandered with no particular purpose, enjoying the warm night air. He'd spent the afternoon in frantic meetings, and discussing things with Spock (ahem, kissing) and now it was time for him to be alone. Spock was meditating, and as far as he knew, he was alone on this side of the dorm building, because all the other doors seemed to lead out to the other side of the building. He was wearing a t-shirt and the long uniform trousers, he didn't need a jacket because of the higher-than- hell temperatures on New Vulcan. The night was mainly clear, with only some stars to obscure the constellations that swirled throughout the sky, and the twin moons, which had been named a week previously Ek'duv and Bahun'ahb, meaning Eclipse and Pearl, shone down and lit the landscape up with a silvery glow. For once, Jim's mind was at peace, no thoughts to ruin the night with and like this, the moons made their way lazily across the sky and time passed.

 

The cracking of a twig jolted him from his reverie, and he spun on a heel towards the noise, eyes straining to catch a glimpse of what ever had disturbed the serenity of the night, he saw nothing. Jim tensed, but relaxed when he saw the Elder Selek come out of the brush with his hands raised in a surrendering position. How had the old Vulcan known that the gesture would make him relax? That was just plain weird. Not wanting to piss off one of the members of the high council, Jim inclined his head to Selek and spoke, his deep voice easily passing through the night air. "Good night for a walk Elder."

 

"Indeed, Captain." Another tickling sensation came to the back of his mind, and Jim somehow knew it originated from the Vulcan across from him in the dusty landscape. Alarm was writ upon his face, and he took a step backwards.

 

"What are you doing? Who are you?" 

 

"It would be easier for me to show you." Quicker than Jim thought would be possible for such an old man, Selek crossed over to him, and put his hands into the meld position in the air beside Jim's face. Startled, he froze, and the Vulcan waited patiently for Jim to untense, and Jim nodded his approval, not without some trepidation, and Selek pressed his fingers to Jim's face. At once, a surge of memories that were not his own crashed over him, and engulfed him in them. There was Selek, coming through the black hole, felt his disorientation _Where am I?_ echoed through the memory. As soon has that one stopped, another rose and took its place, Selek and an older _Jim_ talking with an older Bones and Uhura, tinged with affection, another, with Jim, about twenty years older, saying to the Vulcan "Mr. Spock, you have the conn." Jim was astounded, this was older Spock? Who had come through the black hole? He'd heard stories about a second craft, but had never believed them. The tide of memories didn't cease. There was him and Spock, talking, eating, sleeping, kissing at their wedding. They were married? This Spock and other Jim? And here was a particularly vivid one, Jim beneath Spock, the naked curve of his back showing, and his ass up in the air as it was slowly fucked by the Vulcan. Other Jim was moaning loudly and lustfully, "Please Spock, harder, faster!" The other Spock looked down at Jim's ass and saw his cock slowly disappearing in and out and a wave of lust and love over took the older Vulcan, and he reached down and grabbed Jim's cock, fisting a hand around it and going quickly up and down, while he used his other hand to drag Jim's hips to his as he picked up the pace. They pulled each other into a sloppy kiss moaning all the while. The only sounds in the memory were the slap of skin and the moans that came from both of them, until other Jim groaned, "I'm going to come!" and shuddered around Spock's cock, which turned the Vulcan cross-eyed with pleasure and brought on his own climax about. They collapsed in a sweaty pile, and fell asleep. 

 

Jim blushed crimson, and tried to will his arousal not to show, and cursed when he was not entirely successful and hoped it wasn't visible in the moonlight. Other Spock withdrew his hands from Jim's face, and he saw that the Vulcan's cheeks were flushed a dark green, and he said quietly, "I am sorry for showing you the last one in such," he cleared his throat, "detail."

 

"It's- alright," he replied, slightly unsteady from the cascade of memories that he had been privy to. Speaking to the Vulcan standing in front of him, Jim scuffed his shoes into the red ground in a rare show of nervousness. "So, you're Spock. From another Universe."

 

"Precisely." Older Spock inclined his head, keeping his eyes fixed on Jim's.

 

"Where is other me?" Grief split the older Spock's expression, and Jim rushed to reassure him. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to," and in a softer tone he added, "besides, your face says it all."

 

"Jim in my Universe is not technically dead."

 

The younger Jim deflated slightly, "But in nearly all other aspects, right?"

 

Nodding sadly, the Vulcan answered, "Yes."

 

"Does other Spock know? Does anybody?"

 

"The high council does, but, no my younger counterpart does not."

 

A smile unexpectedly split Jim's face, and he laughed, "Imagine how weird it must be for Sarek, his son on the high council with him, and his son working in the science academy!"

 

"Indeed." Older Spock gave a twitch of his lips and his eyes laughed too. 

 

"Why'd you tell me at all?" They had began to walk, continuing on the meandering course that Jim was wandering on before, and he kicked orange pebbles across the dusty ground. The twin moons had turned to the three quarter way point in the sky, signalling dawn was only a couple of hours away, and the light illuminated the ground differently, casting horizontal beams that made everything have a light side and a dark one.

 

"Because I feel that you telling my counterpart about me would be preferable to him than myself revealing who I really am." He bent smoothly down to examine a plant, a Jim waited while he thought about what to say next.

 

"Okay, but I can't promise good results." 

 

"I wouldn't expect you to." They talked about various things for a little time, but then older Spock bid him goodbye and walked quickly back to the building across the dawn- lit land. Jim looked after him, and when he'd disappeared into the dorm building, Jim turned and sighed heavily.

 

He had a Spock to find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its a bit of a short one, but the next will be longer. and i tried my hand at a bit of smut, give me feedback to make it better please!
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> sorry for the slow, slow updates! but keep giving me feedback, i live off the stuff, also it might help me with my major writer's block. and might help me end this beast of a fanfiction
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> also, a bit of quoting from the movie.


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